I was chatting with a friend who’s totally fed up with the dating scene. Below is a transcript. Screennames changed to protect the innocent.

[22:18] crazybuddy: im thinking of taking myself out for a date

[22:18] crazybuddy: the question is do i try and get myself drunk?

[22:18] sam: that depends, do you need to? will you take no for an answer?

[22:19] crazybuddy: maybe. will i respect myself in the morning?

[22:20] sam: probably not, I’m betting.

[22:20] crazybuddy: should i splurge? go all out? get the apple martini?

[22:20] sam: oh yeah, spare no expense. nice bottle of Merlot. at least 5 bucks.

[22:21] crazybuddy: do i pick myself up? or meet me there?

[22:21] crazybuddy: where do i go afterwards?

[22:22] sam: somewhere private. like your closet.

[22:24] crazybuddy: damn. i hate dating

[22:25] crazybuddy: already i don’t see much hope for a second date

[22:25] crazybuddy: i’m afraid i only want one thing

[22:25] crazybuddy: do i even want to get to know the real me?

[22:25] sam: I don’t know the real you, so…

[22:27] crazybuddy: should i reply to my text messages?

[22:27] crazybuddy: or wait for 24 hours play hard to get….

[23:06] crazybuddy: all right

[23:06] crazybuddy: i go bed now

[23:06] crazybuddy: and think about where i’m going to take me