A writer, reloaded

Friday was a big blur because I had trouble breathing, so the Wife drove me to the doctor after work. I learned two lessons on Friday night.

1)When asked by the front desk for symptoms if you respond, “I’m having trouble breathing” – they drop everything, regardless of paperwork or payment status, and fire up the EKG.
2) Under doctor’s orders, coffee is permanently on the do not even think about consuming list. Sigh.

The long and the short of it, a longstanding asymptomatic heart condition is now an active issue. And I got more pills! Because remembering them all was getting too darn easy. It’s like a rainbow in my stomach twice a day.

Anyway, that’s why there was no Buddhapuss on Friday. He will return shortly. Next stop: climbing out from under the pile of orders that built up all weekend.

According to the AP Newswire, “the cost to the U.S. Roman Catholic Church of sexual predators in the priesthood has climbed past $1 billion, according to tallies by American bishops and an Associated Press review of known settlements.”

This disturbs me on many levels. As a child I was under the impression that half the parishes were on the verge of bankruptcy. Guess there was a little extra for a rainy day. In the second place this bothers me because the real storm hasn’t struck yet. A billion dollars is a lot of money, even to a trial lawyer or a Senator. In fact, it’s one of those numbers that draws sharks with pencils and spreadsheets and keeps them coming back like drunks at a pinata.

How much the Catholic Church really has, disposable or invested, is indeterminate. Presumably the Pope and the College of Cardinals know the true figure. It may be staggering, it may not be that impressive. What I do know is that in the tri-state area the Catholic Church owns some very valuable real estate. In fact, some of the cathedrals in NYC are on property only Bill Gates could afford.

Which brings me to a question. If the problem of sexual predators in the priesthood has existed for awhile, why is this a big media issue lately? I must assume that whatever drove men to do what they do now, drove similar men to do the same things generations ago. If it was kept quiet before what happened to that policy?

I don’t say this to belittle, vilify or demonize victims of sexual abuse. No one can know the trials and psychological burden these children suffered and must face. My point is that there’s been a major structural change in my lifetime in how society views this issue, a most profound shift. Discussions about this problem are starting to be OK in certain settings, and the Catholic Church, like it or not, is in part responsible for this change.

But is this their epitaph, or an unfortunate chapter in a two thousand year history?

Now for layer two – or more correctly – part two of layering. Such a lead begs the question of exactly how many layers are in the model. Answer: that’s another blog entry. My apologies for the coy retort, but it’s an exploration that merits more space and a later date. Which brings me back to the beginning, the next component in layering, and a long winded vignette, er, I mean a concise tale that illustrates a key point.

One time in New York, a vagrant stalked my friends and I for ten long, and they seemed endless, minutes begging for money. I’ll always remember that guy. Not because I gave him a dime. Even then I was a cold hearted bastard with a tight wallet. But this transient was very different.

Vagrant number 23, and I numbered them because in the pre-Guiliani era, bums were bums anywhere they liked, approached us with a deal instead of an open palm. He said if we could solve his puzzle, he’d leave. If we couldn’t, everyone owed him a dollar. Since he smelled like dry-cleaned vomit and Puppy chow, the terms were agreeable.

His riddle was almost deceptive in it’s simplicity. The challenge: what’s the number one nation in the world? This was only a few years after the fall of the Berlin wall and the “official” end of the Cold War. Obviously, being Americans, four out of five of us said the United States. Except me. The United States is a great nation, and I love everything about living here minus the IRS and lawyers, but I sensed a trap. Not many people would say the United States wasn’t number one standing on Broadway in NYC. There just had to be more to the riddle or Vagrant 23 would have a lot less Puppy chow on his coat. So I said, “The one in your mind” and he replied, “Everyone owes me a dollar except for this kid. Pay up and you’ll get the whole answer.”

They all anted up, the losers! Cash in hand, he said “Number one nation in the world is imagination. Thank you and good night.” Then he ran like a man with a stolen television runs from the po-po ( the police ).

Anway, Vagrant 23 made a lot of sense. The number one nation really is imagination. Everything that happens, every building built, every song written, every drug developed by a pharmaceutical company, every sketch drawn – it all starts with an idea in someone’s head, or as he put it – their imagination.

I believe there’s great ideas in everyone, and the only real obstacle is getting them out in the open.

And this concludes layer two.

I started this blog three times, chucked out each attempt, and settled at last on this version. Caveats in place, let’s consider a new pet theory of mine – layering. To the graphics gurus, this is not an Adobe photoshop tutorial. Perhaps an eclectic name might be more impressive. I like this one best. Layering is a way of approaching a situation or problem and requires more ink than a single entry, so I’ll blog more in the future. The first principle is perspective.

Over the past few years I’ve shifted from seeing life as a balance between happiness and less happiness, and where my head doubles as the fulcrum supporting a see saw of highs and lows. Before the see saw model, my attitude was even more brusque, but that’s another blog and a few bottles of good scotch. My doctor warned me to lay off the Chivas, so we’ll not go there. Anyway, my view now is that a life is more journey based, with the goal always moving along on the path, rather than gunning for a specific destination without thought for what is happening. Once en route the direction, rate of travel and distance vary and change by the day, but as long as the journey continues – a traveler in motion never fails. Even when a traveler gets lost, strays, or pursues a “bad” lead, in the end every effort forms an experience and possible lesson.

So far layering is very close to Zen in practice, yet I doubt the great masters will sue me over the strong and coincidental similarities.

More tomorrow. I have to get some writing done….

Warning: Weak blog entry! Danger! This entry is all fluff, just some links for new site content.

Enjoy movie review for Crash and Monster in Law.

And most importantly, have a great weekend!