Joey Vinny – Part V

Remember Joey Vinny?
So that was the crew at thirty thousand feet. They were good guys in small doses, all tied to the deal by Joey Vinny loser ways.
Like I said, Joey gambled. Badly. He earned, he bet, he lost. At least he was consistent. Most people craved variety. Oh no, not Joey Vinny.
Much like the Tommy Q gonna-make-pizza rant, Joey had a personal catchphrase. “1-7-19-23-24-35-41″. Those were his lottery picks. He played those numbers from age ten until death.
Legally the minimum purchase age was eighteen. Patel’s convenience store believed that age was no basis for discrimination. Customers that wanted lottery tickets – got lottery tickets.
Patel also had a liberal check cashing policy. A sign over the front door read: No ID? No problem! They only proofed for cigarettes and bidis because the state dispatched agents once a month. Bidis were flavored cigarettes from India spiked with caffeine. Not my thing. If Patel knew you from the neighborhood, then no worries about identification.
Joey worked there most weekends. He was the only white kid on staff. He was the only staff. Otherwise it was only Patel on point. The owner had a real soft spot for Joey Vinny because once Joey thwarted a robbery attempt.
The way the robbery almost happened was two thugs stormed the place five minutes before closing. Five minutes before close was always the riskiest time in retail operations. As the thugs demanded money, Joey wandered in for a pack of smokes for his dad. Joey always quick on the uptake, asked “What’s going on?”
Shocked, the thugs turned away from Patel and faced Joey, who was ten years old at the time. Big mistake. Patel kept a .357 Magnum under the counter. Only two people lived to tell what happened next. Final score: Patel 2, Wanna Be Gangsters 0. Problem was, it turned out that the thugs didn’t have a gun, so the DA wanted Patel on manslaughter charges. But Joey Vinny testified to a grand jury and said that the thugs had yelled that they had a gun and had threatened to shoot both him and Patel. When the papers got the story community pressure so overwhelmed the DA, he dropped the case. Patel was a hero for saving little Joey Vinny. After the dismissal Patel and Joey had some kind of father son thing going. Which was good because Joey’s real dad only bonded with a bottle.
I knew what really happened, or at least what Joey said really happened. I asked Joey once why he lied to the DA and he said, “Patel never called me no loser.” So Joey was loyal to Patel, like Tommy Q was to Joey.
For a reward, Patel offered Joey whatever he wanted in the store. Joey wanted weekly lotto tickets for life. This was before his scratch off phase.
And that was how at ten, he caught the lotto bug. From that point he was religious about the game, always playing the same the numbers, always twice a week, always losing. Joey was good like that.
So now flash ahead like twelve years. It’s the day we got the news about Joey and nothing matters but our friend is dead. I mean it was an absolute shock to us. No warning, just poof, Joey Vinny was gone. Life was fragile. It was hard for me too, you know? I not only lost a crew member, I lost a cousin. And he owed me fourteen bucks.
I’m not going to go into the wake too much, or the funeral neither, cause that wasn’t exactly the point at the moment. Suffice to say the whole affair was brutal.
What mattered was that during the wake we each had a moment alone with Joey Vinny to say good bye. He looked pretty good in black suit and white tie. The last time he wore a suit was First Communion. In my head I wished him good luck. Didn’t think too much about loving him cause that would be weird.
The morning of the funeral, I ran into Bobby in front of the church before the services. I’ve never seen anyone so upset. He was bawling. I couldn’t get a word out of him. He wasn’t even talking English.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Tommy Q is going to kill me!” said Bobby, tears streaking down his face.
“Woah! What’s up?”
“Please Gerald. Don’t let Tommy Q kill me!”
“What are you talking? Why would Tommy Q do that?”
“He’s going to kill me. Don’t let him kill me, Gerald. Please? Please?! Please don’t let him kill me!”
That’s what Bobby kept saying over and over. Tommy Q was going to kill him. I drug the kid out back and pumped a few shots of Jager down him. Bobby just couldn’t communicate sometimes. After boozing it up, I stuffed Bobby in a pew and told him to be quiet, while I waited outside for Tommy Q.
Tommy Q rolled up a few minutes later. “Still can’t believe it.” he said.
“Me either. If someone had to die, Bobby should’ve gone first.”
“Absolutely.” said Tommy.
“Is something going on with you and Bobby?” I asked. This was not the day to law down the law, but something was amiss with my crew.
“No. Why?”
“He’s going on about how you’re going to kill him,” I said. “Why would he think that?”
“Everything’s fine as far as I know. I mean, except Joey dying.”
At that moment, I believed Tommy Q. He was a good guy. He didn’t want to kill Bobby. So we went inside and waited for the service start. And that’s when everything went nuts. Well, Bobby went nuts.
He almost cried straight through the whole mass. Couple of times, I punched him to shut up. He wouldn’t stop. Bobby kept talking to himself, real loud, like a soldier who spent the last month in a foxhole and wasn’t sure if he was alone or not. Finally, Tommy and I drag Bobby out of the church, right in the middle of the eulogy.
“What the hell is the matter with you?” I asked.
Bobby looked at me, then at Tommy Q, then back at me. “Gerald, please don’t let Tommy Q kill me.”
“Enough with this already! No one is killing anyone.”
“Did you see the news?”
“What news?” I asked.
Bobby reached into his pocket and pulled out a newspaper clipping with the lotto drawing results. He flinched like I might hit him. I ripped the paper away and read the highlighted numbers out loud. They sounded so familiar. “1-7-19-23-24-35-41. Hey, are those today’s numbers?” I asked.
“Yes,” said Bobby.
“Joey Vinny’s numbers!” said Tommy Q.
“Yes,” said Bobby.
“I can’t believe it, of all the bum luck the one time he doesn’t play, his numbers hit.” I said.
“I…well…I’m sorry…envelope…didn’t understand…” Bobby stumbled.
Bobby might have kept going like that forever so I slapped him right across the face then, so hard it almost broke the skin. Calmed him right down. He was being insolent. “Joey Vinny had the winning ticket?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“You’re sure?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“OK, now Bobby this is very important. Where is that ticket right now?”
“I….” Tears streamed down his face. He couldn’t look at either of us.
“You have the ticket?” I asked.
“No…I…”
Tommy Q leaned in real close, “It’s OK Bobby, it’ll just be between the crew. We’re not telling nobody.”
“I’m sorry guys…”
“It’s in the church somewhere? You left it back in the pew?” I asked.
“Help us help you,” said Tommy Q.
Finally the dam burst wide and Bobby confessed. “Last night at the wake, I’m about to go and I’m thinking about the last conversation I had with.
“A few hours before he died, he stopped by my place. He gave me an envelope and told me if something ever happened to him, open up the envelope and I’ll know exactly what to do. I’m thinking this is just a big joke, why should he give me something important instead of Tommy Q? I mean those two were tight and all.
“Three hours later, the call cames, Joey was dead. Next afternoon, I open the envelope and inside is a lottery ticket, and I’m not thinking or something, because I see this and I like freak out, and I think what the hell am I supposed to do with this thing? Joey said I would know what to do, and I don’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to do at all…”
“Don’t make me smack you again.” I said.
Bobby recovered. “I stuff the envelope and the ticket in my back pocket and go to the wake, and I’m thinking the whole time, Joey said I would know what to do with the envelope. I would know. And it’s really bugging me. But it hits me like a shot. There’s one place that ticket truly belongs. There’s one place it’s meant to be.” he paused.
“Bobby,” I grabbed both of his shoulders and shook. “Where is the ticket?”
The recessional started. Ash and the smell of grief poured out the doors. We stepped aside as my father and uncle and two other pallbearers carried the casket down the stairs and into the hearse. Mr. Vinny closed the door.
Bobby pointed to the long black car. “It’s with Joey.”

12 thoughts on “Joey Vinny – Part V

  • February 17, 2005 at 9:49 pm
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    Hiya

    Sorry I feel that the early demise of young Mister Vinny is uncalled for. I know I was appraised of his death, but….. On with the Joey Vinny saga, please. Thank You.

  • February 17, 2005 at 10:18 pm
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    Sam, I spent a few tics brainstorming, perhaps the rest of the crew could take some action(s) to avenge Joey’s death. Of course, this will be after they bungle any attempt to rob Joey’s grave to get the winning lottery ticket. Thank you for your consideration. Do you know where to sent the t-shirt?

  • February 18, 2005 at 10:58 am
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    HMMMM, so many unanswered questions, I’m invested in these guys! damn it! I want to know how did Joey die, he was so young! Was his mom out of control at the service? What about that ticket. Does Tommy Q kill Bobby? (I would) and of course Does Tommy Q make PIZZA!!?

    I think they need to consult with Patel on this delicate matter, I mean he is practically family :)

  • February 18, 2005 at 1:45 pm
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    I agree with the above comments, especially the patel one..if the ticket was from there surely his machine logged it right. What if the ticket was burnt would they try and forge it? The story could go on in multiple routes. Plllease don’t end it! Please? Great story though. GB

  • February 18, 2005 at 2:00 pm
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    It is true all lottery tickets sales are logged and I planned to account for this. We also know that Vinny worked at Patels and had free lotto tickets for life. What isn’t clear is if Joey got the ticket from Patel’s machine or not. ;) Additionally – Tommy Q and Gerald must go for that ticket it’s in their nature. Don’t discount Mrs. Vinny – surely she knew Joey played lotto. How about how Vinny died? Is that important? Keep the comments coming! I’m getting some good ideas here for a possible second iteration.

  • February 18, 2005 at 2:03 pm
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    also ! please dont forget to tap karma. I gather at least 4 people like this entry so… ;)

  • February 18, 2005 at 3:31 pm
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    I think a conniving semi love interest of Joeys might be interested in that lotto ticket. Some girls will stoop so low, ya know.

  • February 19, 2005 at 6:11 pm
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    ok…loved it! how about instead of the nasty reference to the fortune teller in the earlier chapter, elude a reference to this incident with the lotto ticket :) …you can’t stop with this as the ending either sam! keep on keepin on mang!

  • February 20, 2005 at 9:30 am
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    Hippie j – that’sa good idea. maybe joey can mumble his numbers earlier or – and then once in the Bobby piece too…Spacedoubt – hmmm. a love interest. but what girl would dig a loser like Joey? *ponders*.

  • February 20, 2005 at 5:57 pm
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    who said love? many ppl will feign love for few measly bucks. im not sayin i ever done a thing like that O:) and even howard stern found a mate….

  • February 21, 2005 at 12:42 am
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    OHHHH. now i get you – spacedoubt. a lotto digger.

  • March 5, 2005 at 10:41 am
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    He will pick it up again… I take Sam as a man of his word… ‘Velocity’ has priority
    Joey could be the inept drug dealer/smuggler and met his demise in a bad dope deal. Portray Joey as the comical, inept drug smuggler or dealer. Do ya know where to send the TShirt?

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