Month: May 2004

Troy

Writer guy

Despite the hype machine, I braved Troy this weekend. Let me explain a few things about my love/hate relationship with period pieces. Unless the backdrop of the period piece is the Roman Empire, WWII or the 1920’s, I hate them. But reading that they spent 200 million dollars to make Troy and that it offered a chance to see how little fat was left on Brad Pitt’s body proved too powerful a lure to resist. Besisdes, the wife had free movies passes.

It’s true, Brad Pitt was in the physical condition of his life. Unfortunately, the director and screenwriters were not. The story was convoluted and loaded with weak characters. Now honestly, all that does not necessarily a bad movie make. Had the plot been less mediocre, it might have slid by. Alas the plot is but a single slice of Swiss cheese left at the feet of crazed field mice.

The direction was choppy and the editing looked like it was done in the back of a 1969 Dodge Charger on Memorial Day Weekend. At points the frames of film shook. Literally.

Three good things about Troy:

1) Helen was cute. She might not launch a thousand ships, but she can launch at least one cruise missile.

2) The recreation of the mythical Troy was believable ( trust me – it looks good ).

3) Brad Pitt is the new Terminator.

Three bad things about Troy:

1) The director.

2) The editor.

3) The screenwriter.

I didn’t dislike this movie but I didn’t like it enough to recommend paying full price. Matinee or video rental this one.

Ouch

Writer guy

A relative celebrated her birthday in the city ( the city being NYC ) last night and the entire affair was one long Twilight Zone moment. Things happen in the city that just don’t anywhere else.

The story begins at the Sweet and Vicious bar, which is, well I don’t really know where it is. Somewhere near Spring Street. Don’t quote me on that. It had a small outdoor lounge with benches and a trace of greenery and they allowed smoking until 11 pm and the waitress kept bringing Corona long necks with lime wedges. I’m pretty sure I paid for them. In the corner of the outdoor lounge there was a painter’s ladder that led to nowhere.

Next thing I know it’s 2am we’re eating brick oven pizza and listening to a man roughly 109 years old playing a glass top piano. As he pumped the ivory keys, a black cat rolled around on top grooving to Frank Sinatra and an upright bass. There was a line of about 9 girls waiting to pat the all black kitty with yellow eyes. 9 girls and me.

Flash ahead to 3:30 AM. For some reason I’m arguing with someone about the value of public education on the PATH train.

Now it’s 6PM the next day, and my head just stopped feeling like a crushed pineapple smoothie.

I should’ve stopped at the 3rd Corona.

What have we learned Charlie Brown

Writer guy

I learned a few things week about marketing. Let me preface that with the observation that I’m a marketing novice. OK, that’s being kind, I’m somewhere between a marketing misfit and a marketing boob.

But a few marketing concepts sunk in:
Number 1 – People click on text ads. This week a text ad ran for samhilliard.com on another site and it drew hits, at least as long as the ad was in rotation. We’ll see what percentage hang around next week 🙂
Number 2 – Free is a hard handle to push off of. In other words, if the product or service is free, it’s hard to argue for the value of that product or service unless it’s bundled with something else that costs money.
Number 3 – It’s best to swim in an ocean with few sharks. There’s about 498 trillion blogs and roughly a billion more created each week, because blogs breed like rabbits on Ecstasy. Perhaps soon even computers will have their own blogs.

So I’m going to take these lesson and apply them back to the site this weekend and determine how to improve things.

Dollar menu

Writer guy

Imagine for a second life came with a dollar menu similar to the Golden Arches but instead of a double cheeseburger or a yogurt parfait, cooler things were available for sale. I’m not talking just about food, but other single use items that are just as timely.

Presuming that were an option, here’s what I’d like:
1) A witty comeback guaranteed not to result in getting fired, arrested or a fight.
2) A token that I could present to a bum who tried to squeegee my car windows clean that would halt him in his tracks. Not only would he spare my windshield, he’d do it without a grudge or insult.
3) A sheet of Kleenex that didn’t scrape my nostrils raw after the other hundred times allergies forced me to blow my nose. If the tissue didn’t smell like recycled paper that would be better still.
4) License to destroy the cellphone of anyone sitting around me in a movie theater who decides to make an outgoing call after the film starts.

And lastly….
5) An item from the dollar menu at the Golden Arches that doesn’t taste like either salt or cardboard.