Hellboy

Writer guy

OK superhero fans, Hellboy is in the house! Never heard of Hellboy? Frightened by his massive red body and filed down horns? Yep, me too.

Let’s get to know him a bit better. Here’s some points of interest.

1) He loves cats.

2) He eats everything.

3) He loves a girl who can’t decide whether to love him back.

4) He has father issues.

Sound like anyone you know? See, underneath the red body and horns, Hellboy is just an average American who drinks Bud Light and wears leather pants with an extra hole for his nine foot tail. Also he lives in a fortified lair. But otherwise, Hellboy just like you or me.

The bottom line is, Hellboy works on the big screen. He works and works to save us from the forces of chaos and “things that go bump in the night”. The effects are good, the action is tight and the dialog does what it has to. Take note, the eye candy factor is high.

Hellboy is worth seeing, especially if you like comic book movies. It’s an experience worth the full price ticket.

Captain, status report!

Writer guy

There’s lots happening but at the same time not a lot to say about it. Hopefully that makes sense, but since sleep left me hanging so many hours back, anything goes.

The lot of action part is Velocity. This past week has been one long writing tear, the likes of which I’ve never experienced. What kind of tear? Oh 9 pages a day kind of tear. Yeah, boggles my mind too.

Let’s just say it’s coming along. I’m thinking about posting some of the Ridge Runner or Velocity. Either that or a short story. Before that can happen, tech guy needs to work out some kinks with the site.

Spike, the graphics guru designed some nice t-shirts. We’ve been going back and forth on the Buddhapuss one. It’s hard to make a huge black cat look like something other than a chocolate bunny rabbit when there’s but one color to work with. Spike will get it though. He got us through the “interesting study in coffee au lait” color scheme, so he’s proven he can deliver.

So yeah, that’s it for today. I’ll be funny on Saturday for sure…

Jury Duty

Writer guy

In the midst of tax season a jury summons appeared in my mailbox. What a loaded day. First the tax man frees me of funds and now the court system wants my opinion.

Jury duty is the price of voting in NJ so any opportunity to perform my civic duty is welcome. But there’s one hitch. I’ve been summoned to the wrong county. So I call the uber helpful people at the appropriate NJ state agency.

NJJMS: Yo.
sam: I’ve been summoned for jury duty.
NJJMS: No kidding? I never hear that one.
sam: What does that mean exactly?
NJJMS: You get 2 days off work for a 1 day trial.
sam: Hey, that’s great! But thing is, this summons is for X county and I live in Y county.
NJJMS: Hold on. Read me the number to the right of the bar code.
sam ( reads numbers )
NJJMS: Why did you get this summons? You don’t live in X county. You live in Y county.
sam: That’s why I’m calling.
NJJMS: But you’re disqualified.
sam: So what do I do?
NJJMS: Nothing. You don’t get 2 days off work.
sam: Anything else?
NJJMS: You don’t get 5 dollars a day.
sam: But what if I want to serve?
NJJMS: Sir, you’re not qualified.
sam: Is there any possible way I can be on this jury?
NJJMS: No. In fact I’m adjusting your record in the system right now. You’re out of the consideration pool permanently.
sam: Well, if you insist.

Tax man cometh

Writer guy

Once again, the deadline for the IRS to help themselves to the wallets of hardworking Americans and settle up for tax year 2003 has arrived.

I’ll miss you tax year 2003 and all the money you brought. Now I shall mourn the loss of that income earned but not kept.

And just in case the memory of this neat feeling fades away any time soon, the next deadline for filing quarterly returns is July 19th. Hot dog!

Please excuse me, it’s time to sob uncontrollably. I’ll be funnier ( and a little lighter ) on Thursday.