Imagine for a second life came with a dollar menu similar to the Golden Arches but instead of a double cheeseburger or a yogurt parfait, cooler things were available for sale. I’m not talking just about food, but other single use items that are just as timely.

Presuming that were an option, here’s what I’d like:
1) A witty comeback guaranteed not to result in getting fired, arrested or a fight.
2) A token that I could present to a bum who tried to squeegee my car windows clean that would halt him in his tracks. Not only would he spare my windshield, he’d do it without a grudge or insult.
3) A sheet of Kleenex that didn’t scrape my nostrils raw after the other hundred times allergies forced me to blow my nose. If the tissue didn’t smell like recycled paper that would be better still.
4) License to destroy the cellphone of anyone sitting around me in a movie theater who decides to make an outgoing call after the film starts.

And lastly….
5) An item from the dollar menu at the Golden Arches that doesn’t taste like either salt or cardboard.

Almost forgot to blog today and that would mean, well it would mean the blog wasn’t updated 🙂

Hard to believe it’s been almost six months and the only interruptions have been technical (and even those were minor). One day maybe I’ll work out exactly how much time I’ve invested into this site. Then again, perhaps it’s best to avoid calculations like that since it’s probably more than I realize.

Anyway, I’m sweating like a pig. It’s time to drag out the window AC units from the closet so Buddhapuss stops panting. I’ll be funnier on Thursday. Or something.

One of these days, Monday will feel some other way than being wedged inside a black and white rerun of the Twilight Zone. That’s long been a goal of mine too, to look forward to Monday with the same intensity usually earmarked for the weekends. Despite my efforts, it seems that if something is going to go askew, it’ll be on Monday.

Take this particular one for instance. For months it’s been unseasonably cold for spring, nary a day over sixty five, with night time temperatures hovering near the forties. So I get the idea to load up on foods that require broiling, thinking the stove will heat up the place and make the apartment all toasty nice as dinner broils in a homemade marinate. Only today is the first day of a week long heat wave, and the low this week will shatter the high of last week.

Yeah, I’m real bright spark sometimes, I swear. Anyway, it’s time to go bake myself in the furnace, err, kitchen. Can’t have that roast exploding from neglect.

On the writing front, I decided to revisit The Ridge Runner for awhile while still pressing ahead with the first draft of Velocity. Either I’m going to soil both of them irreparably, or something cool will come of it.

Today was a good day for several reasons. Well let’s clarify that, today was better than good. Actually, I’d rate it a great day. Not great in a shucky darn, look at the cute puppy with brown eyes and black spots kind of day. That’s more melodrama. When melodrama knocks, it’s best to treat it like the Jehovah’s Witness of emotions and slam it closed. No, this was a great as in hmm, why yes sir, that was a perfectly solid day, even though the alcoholic neighbor stole my newspaper off the lawn.

First, the wife and I had breakfast out, which meant no egg confetti. Second, my chiropractor beat all the pain out of my back. It’s been a long time since my back flared up, so long I forgot how irritating and distracting back pain can be. Whatever he did, pain gone. He gets an extra chocolate bunny from me next Easter.

Lastly it was great because well, I saw the wife almost all day. And that only happens…let me check my lunar calendar. Yes that only happens when we’re on vacation. So that must be what made today great. It was a vacation day in disguise.