Today marks a new chapter in the ongoing love/hate relationship with my landlord. I respect the landlord, and love the fact that whenever someone calls about a problem, he resolves the issue personally. However, I also hate the fact that whenever someone calls about a problem, he resolves the issue personally.

Let me explain. The apartment is one of many carved out from an old mansion. Trust me, it sounds much neater than it is. Take a bunch of old apartments with 100 year old plumbing, Rube Goldberg wiring and a basement that hosts Hell’s backup boiler and the fun never stops!

Virtually every week, a new refurbishment, patch job or emergency project begins. Some finish quickly, others not. A few are temporary by design, stopgaps until there’s more time for a proper fix. Great attention is paid to stopgap fix it jobs. One such stopgap is now in it’s fifth year. And while it’s true the “estate” appears much nicer than many of the neighbors, it’s obvious that the real progress continues eluding the landlord. Perhaps, the landlord might pay for help.

Instead, he plows weekends, evenings and holidays into the place, year after year. Thus far the only professional who works on the place is the plumber, and thats only where it involves Hell’s backup boiler. Not that the landlord didn’t botch that once or twice himself before admitting defeat.

Compounding the aggravation is the tendency of unrelated jobs leading to more projects. For example, he begins tinkering with one part of the house and then manipulates everything around it, until the footprint of the work is four fold and it consumes the entire day.

As I write this, the front doors are off the hinges, the frame exposed and the landlord is hanging a new door by himself. The official explanation for his presence this morning was the replacement of overhead lighting in the hallway. Best estimates on Project Gutted Doorway? Heh. Break out the rosary or other religious device of choice. My apologies for the rant.

A new year, a new food dilemma. Diet, meal plan, food plan, whatever the en vogue title is, for four out of five Americans, most diets are a memory by March. Amen to that.

Still, it’s handy to blame someone else for failure. The news is an excellent scapegoat. Theres so many choices and options and the media further complicates the matter by spouting conflicting messages. Last year everyone and their grandfather went on Atkins. Few follow Atkins now except my grandfather, who did before the diet existed. See, refined carbs derail his blood sugar levels.

Widespread abandonment of low carb diets aren’t helping the sugar peddlers just yet. Krispy Kreme stock is in the gutter, and keeps sliding. Weight Watchers reports modest gains in attendance. Maybe that’s the new wave, twice revisited. The verdict is still out on the Zone, but it sounds like much of what doesn’t work long term in either Atkins or Weight Watchers.

But the point of all this is, what eating plan is right for me? And why the hell does this come up every January? Not like I’m bikini club bound any time soon.

You know, I was a lot happier before this diet research. Perhaps, it’s time to reincarnate the 2004 plan. It’s deceptively simple: simply visualize a diet thats allows for whatever is desired and then do that.

Oh yes, next year, next year I will have an eating plan.

Grave tragedy struck Arkansas again; today a dog crashed a truck into a building.

No one was hurt. The animal, as yet unnamed, wasn’t cited, although he did consult an attorney.

Each holiday season I spread the wondrous stash of Xmas booty across the carpet and revile in the glory that are unsolicited material goods. Sure, ’tis the season for giving, peace and togetherness. And it’s also a time for booty. Lots and lots of booty.

This year was better than most. Thanks to all who contributed to my comfort index. However, one gift stands apart from the herd. It’s special. It’s different. A re-gift passed from father to son and back again for 12 years. Neither of us have dared crack the seal.

It’s a big, old plastic jar of…well, the picture below says it all. Not sure what one does with this product, although the label indicates the contents are flammable.

What was your favorite Xmas gift? Please talk amongst yourselves..