The wife is off work this weekend, so we’re going to do the marriage thing for a few days. I haven’t seen much of the wife lately. I haven’t’ seen much of anyone lately come to think of it.

I had a panic attack early in the week about the second book, Velocity. Regardless of what’s going on with the search for representation, I had some trouble gaining traction with the writing schedule. The tone of the book was pretty rough to take even for me, which is saying something. One of the things I’ve long been guilty of is projecting scenarios out to the 19th degree. Sure, it’s neat to visualize something to an extreme, but dealing with the volume turned up that high makes for difficult reading. That’s when my writing and editor person butt heads.

We had a few discussions about it, one of them that gave us both a nasty headache. But, with editor person’s last round of suggestions, the novel is now framed right. Now I can build outwards based on a more solid foundation. For anyone keeping score, I’ve got nearly 70 pages.

Remember that guy in school who insisted he had a girlfriend from Canada that he met at summer camp last year? None of his friends had ever seen her, but he had a picture, although not of both of them together, that he used as a prop to brag to everyone in the locker room. Let’s call that guy Jamie. The Canadian girlfriend was Kandi (not her real name). Jamie was the same kid who claimed he was late for soccer practice because his entire street blew up, except for his house. Also his dad, who was really a secret agent, could take corners in the family station wagon on two wheels.

Anyway, while the rest of us dreamed of getting the nerve to ask a girl out, Jamie had been there and done that. Many times he claimed, and he even had a picture of Kandi to prove it. Well we’re older now, most of the crew are married, but last night someone alerted me to a curious offering on eBay. If you search for a phrase like “pretend girlfriend” it returns auctions of girls who, for a fee, will provide a picture of herself, some letters and a phone call.

Imagine how much more effective Jamie’s tale of love and woe with Kandi could have been with the help of eBay? Besides the picture, he could have arranged a time for all of us to be around when Kandi called and broke up with him. Long distance relationships claim many a young loves. We’d have believed he was a player. Maybe the rumors might’ve led to a real girlfriend.

I’m backing off my original position against posting pictures of myself. Why? Every other blog that I’ve ever seen has picture(s) of the author. Plus I have in my possesion two, if you count the wife’s email, requests for a pic on the site that shows more of my face, instead of something like thus. Well, here at samhilliard.com we give the audience what they want.

Enjoy a brand new pic of writer guy taken just moments ago by writer guy.

OK, so like no word from prospective agent yet, so I’ve decided to kick things up a notch. No, I’m not going to call them. No, I’m not going to email them asking them what they thought of my letter. No, I’m not going to find their home address, phone number,etc. Any of that would be bad form.

I’m going to do something else. It might even be clever. Then again, it might be one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done, which is really saying something. If it works, I’ll disclose what I did. If it doesn’t, I shall never mention it again. Just kidding, either way I’ll own up to it.

Tune in Sunday for a pic of writer guy.