Refund? Refund!?

A lot of people claim writer’s block is a real thing, but I disagree. Writer’s block is shorthand for being lazy. because writing itself is a non job. If it was a job there would be a boss, and an office with a bunch of people running side businesses out of their cubicles.

Here’s an outline for a typical writing day:
1) Wake up, eat breakfast, make big pot of coffee
2) Drink coffee and pretend to write for 1-2 hours, update blog.
3) First panic attack, then lunch and second panic attack.
4) Write for 5-6 hours.
5) Third panic attack.
6) Think about picking up another six pack of beer, panic about having to leave house to do so.
7) Dinner, then revise the day’s pages.
8) Panic about day’s pages.

I punch through the panic attacks. That’s my edge, you see.

UPDATE 3/1/2004: A reader in Mississippi pointed out that number 6 is avoidable.
I quote : “Always keep sufficient quantities of beer in the home/workplace to preclude the aforementioned quandries. The purchase of extra refrigerator is authorized and encouraged. Delivery of said beverage is highly recommended.”

Take me to Thursday

Lately I’ve taken to cursing Monday. Mostly because Monday feels like a hangover without the beer the night before. Sure, there was a time when I could drink through Monday, but that was back in college. That kind of extra effort was required in the syllabus. At my current incredibly advanced age (31), such attempts to recreate prior glories are foolhardy.

Mondays are better than Sundays, for the simple reason that on Sundays I’m hung over. But Monday’s are not better by much. What is Monday about anyway? To me it’s the wicked reminder that the weekend is over and you owe homage to The Man for the next five days or you’re going to lose that home that you can’t afford ( or barely afford depending on how good your credit is ).

Mondays lack the abandon of Saturday or excitement of Friday. Tuesday would be better, but it’s still awfully close to the black hole we’re stuck in right now. So that leaves Wednesday and Thursday to save the week. Wednesday has that cool nickname “hump day”. But it’s no fun for me because the wife works really late that night. This leaves Thursday. Well bring it on, say I! And leave the bottle of Advil open, just in case.

Hey writer guy, what do you look like?

I’m backing off my original position against posting pictures of myself. Why? Every other blog that I’ve ever seen has picture(s) of the author. Plus I have in my possesion two, if you count the wife’s email, requests for a pic on the site that shows more of my face, instead of something like thus. Well, here at samhilliard.com we give the audience what they want.

Enjoy a brand new pic of writer guy taken just moments ago by writer guy.

Up up and away

OK, so like no word from prospective agent yet, so I’ve decided to kick things up a notch. No, I’m not going to call them. No, I’m not going to email them asking them what they thought of my letter. No, I’m not going to find their home address, phone number,etc. Any of that would be bad form.

I’m going to do something else. It might even be clever. Then again, it might be one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done, which is really saying something. If it works, I’ll disclose what I did. If it doesn’t, I shall never mention it again. Just kidding, either way I’ll own up to it.

Tune in Sunday for a pic of writer guy.