Author: Writer guy

Hidalgo

Writer guy

Hidalgo is one of those films that Hollywood refers to as a “inspired by a true story” story. Since the person who inspired it, Frank Hopkins is dead, and has been since 1951, I’m going to presume he had little to no influence on this film. Mr. Hopkins, please cover your eyes for this review is not pretty. My apologies to you in advance sir. I mean no harm.

In the simplest terms this is a goal film and the goal is to win a horse race through the most treacherous terrain known to man. I was surprised to see this terrain did not include Newark at 2am on a Saturday night. Is that not treacherous? Hidalgo is a period piece which seems unnecessary since 80 percent of it is set in the desert. It’s hot. It’s sandy. It’s Iraq. How much has that really changed in the last 100 years?

If the film centered entirely on the race, it might have been OK. The problem is that the motives for Hopkins to win the race are neither clear nor seem worth what he went through. He’s cast as this “I’m in it for the hell of it” kinda guy with a zippy horse. OK, neat. We learn a little bit about Frank Hopkins and Viggo Mortensen does make him seem interesting. But an interesting and slightly amusing Frank Hopkins does not an exciting goal film make.

The other key characters face serious limitations, I wanted more of them but more never came. This is a case where the parts shine individually but fail to gel when pieced together.

Another problem working against this film is that it followed shortly after horse movie, Seabiscuit. In many ways, Seabiscuit filled America’s need for such dramas for the next decade. So maybe I’m a little burnt on the magic horse thing. I’ll be the first to admit that bias.

The good parts about this film include the good looking horse and the believable rapport between Hidalgo and Frank. The special effects were good. A few of the jokes worked well. The cameras were all in focus.

In the end, this film is best suited for cable. When it comes to HBO give it a whirl and save your ducats.

Uh oh

Writer guy

I’m dying, of that I’m certain, of what is less clear. For the past 72 hours my ears, eyes, sinus cavity and chest have been under constant attack. Is this the flu? Ah, it feels much worse than any mere flu.
The disease also has brain wasting properties. My lack of concentration levels rivals only those born after 1997, the very age group which scientists proved recently to be brain dead. You’re unaware of said theorem? According to doctor once employed by the Weekly World News, Gameboy + McDonald’s + No exercise = Reduced brain wave activity. And just think we’ve got a whole generation of them.
At present, I can concentrate just long enough to write the blog, then must blow my nose and wash my hands so as not to infect the wife with this toxic agent.
Is there a doctor reading this? Based on my symptoms tell me, how long do I have left? I can take it. I’ve known the bitter taste of rejection. This current setback is just one chapter of longer tale. Oh yes, I shall prevail. Even over insurmountable odds and deadly afflictions.
Excuse me please, it’s time for another trip to the bathroom.

URGENT!

Writer guy

I’m preempting the blog I wrote for this breaking message.

A prospective agent requested to see the first 3 chapters of The Ridge Runner today.!

Very cool. This is a good next step for Mike Brody. I’ll keep you posted as things develop. Nope, I’m not saying who the prospective agent is. Nope, I don’t know if they will decide to represent me. Remember publishing is a very, very conservative business and things like decisions take a long time and this is just one more in a series of steps.

What I do know at this time is that they want to see more material, so more material they shall get.

You know, the Globey’s

Writer guy

The wife and I saw the Harlem Globetrotters this week. This year marks their 75th year of doing that Globetrotting thing. Here’s some strategies for maximum enjoyment.

Pre-game:
1) Bring children to the game. Lots of them. The larger your brood the better. If you lack a brood, carjack a boy or girl scout troop en route to the game.
2) Make sure the children have empty stomachs. Deprive them of food for at least six hours beforehand. Never fear, once inside, there’s plenty of refined sugar available.
3) Purchase one (1) mini globetrotters style basketball for every two children in your brood. That way they have something to throw against the wall AND something to fight over.

Game:
1) Ignore your hopped up, basketball toting child until halftime.
2) Enjoy the comic genius of the world famous Globetrotters as they wipe up the court with their opponent. They are enormous talents.

Halftime:
1)Either feed the child more sugar or take it home. Whichever stops the screaming.

Post game:
1) If you haven’t bought the child a mini-basketball by the conclusion of the game, now’s the time to purchase them an oversized Globetrotter jersey.
2) If there’s sugar left for sale, please purchase it for immediate injection. Those kids need a quick boost of energy so they can play a basketball game in the aisles as 3,000 people try to exit.