Author: Writer guy

Missing Summer Movie Reviews

Writer guy

Ever wonder what happened to the weekly movie reviews around this place?

Well, I didn’t stop going to the movies. Here’s 5 flicks I saw, but didn’t review.

The Summer Movie Review at a glance…
1)The Terminal � millions of undocumented aliens enter this country every year, but Tom Hanks can’t figure out how to walk through the doors at JFK.
2)The Notebook � it made the Wife cry.
3)Fahrenheit 9/11 � Mike Moore is a Big Fat Rich White Guy. 100% True!
4)White Chicks � They weren’t white and they weren’t chicks. And it wasn’t funny.
5)Anchorman – Will Ferrell is about the only thing not weighing down this ship.

Tired in a good way

Writer guy

I spent the day revising the synopsis for the Ridge Runner. There was a rough draft rusting away on my PC, but it was time for a high gloss finish.

A synopsis demonstrates to an agent or an editor that there is a logical plot to the novel. Typically, they are 250-500 words in length. Since it’s difficult to reduce a year’s worth of work to a single page on demand, most editors advise having a pitch worthy synopsis before writing the novel. Great advice, but difficult to implement in practice.

So here’s what I learned today…
1) The query letter shows you can write
2) The synopsis shows you have a story
3) The chapters shows you can deliver the story

Note the order of the items. The query letter gets the agent’s attention. But before the agent dives into the chapters, they have a clear synopsis in hand. Why? Because anything else wastes their time. Reading 50 pages of double spaced 12 point Courier takes roughly 30 minutes. Even if the agent devotes 1 day to reading chapters, they could consider a maximum of 15-20 prospects a week. But with a synopsis, they can evaluate a project in under 2 minutes and then allocate time to read the chapters that pique their interest.

Those were the days

Writer guy

A former colleague got me thinking about this client we used to service. While staffed with the nicest people in the world, this company also held the record for the most ridiculous expectations.

Here’s a sample:

Client: The application can start my car right?
sam: Tragically, no.
Client: Surely this can be implemented.
sam: Never. That’s just not possible. Not an option.
Client: So how long will it take you to make that work?

And another:

Client: Can we have electronic fulfillment for our hardware orders?
sam: Right after I fix the glitches in the teleporter.
Client: I knew the application could start my car!

Ah, those were the days. They started off with Pepto-Bismol and ended with many Newcastles.

Another kick in the teeth

Writer guy

OK, enough entries from the Writing category. In my defense, I plead query mode and that my head is sort of someplace else. Enough of that already.

Let’s kick out the funnies. 4 years ago I woke up at 2am with blood all over my pillow. Gee, that’s not very funny is it? Anyway, the emergency room doctors diagnosed this as a severe middle ear infection and referred me to a specialist.

Enter the insurance company swine who deemed this emergency room visit unnecessary and refused to pay. When blood gushes from your ear at 2am, is it really necessary to consult with your primary care provider first? My first thought was no, so I appealed the decision.

Not to be neglected, the hospital threatened to take me to collections for the cost of the visit. I ate the charges, paid up and moved on.

For 3 years and 11 months nothing more was said about this matter. 2 weeks ago a notice arrived from the insurance company swine. At last the visit to the emergency room was covered! Since they owed me money, they sent the check for the disputed amount to the hospital.

See, life is a highway. And sometimes you’re in a bumper car.