Author: Writer guy

Elections are here

Writer guy

Since it’s election day, maybe it’s the time to get all political. Craft a nice rant about one candidate. Or maybe both. Being like everyone is tempting. A random sample of three billion blogs over the past month reveals nearly all are oozing with political postures.

But writing about politics is just too damn easy to do. So I won’t. Like each update before and every update after, there will be a proper blog entry. Because the readers are what matters. The audience is my concern. They are my goal. All are welcome – if you choose to read on, I will deliver the same quasi humorous content, Master Buddhapuss, and updates about my publishing struggles.

This blog will remain, heretofore a political free zone.

Halloween Part II

Writer guy

Time for funny 2004 Halloween stories via my mother. Thanks mom! Hey, where’s my candy?

College student appears at the door wearing a Kohl’s shopping bag with holes cut out for his head and arms.

Mom: What are you supposed to be?
College Student: Heh. I’m white trash. Get it?

Later: two high school students appear, a boy and a girl. The boy carries a pillowcase, the girl does not. Mom hands them candy. Clutching the booty, the girl jams Kit Kats into her cargo pants.

Mom ( to the girl ): Aren’t you going to run out of room for candy in your pockets?
Boy: There’s plenty of room in there. I should know. They’re my pants.

New this year, proxy trick or treating. This requires one child from a large group to ring the bell. The horde remains at the sidewalk, while the loner demands candy for the group. Mom’s response – “They want candy? Then they walk to the door. This is Halloween, not Domino’s.”

Halloween

Writer guy

They say thirty one is too old for trick or treating. Then again they also say you’re only as old as you think you are. Now in that spirit, let’s just say someone roughly that age decides that soliciting candy or other tax free donations is a nifty idea. A person of such ilk has a very special need for a costume. Otherwise said trick or trick treater will stick out from the curb.

Here’s some things I, er…someone my age, could dress up as for Halloween:

1) An IRS agent. Already have the cheap brief case, starch shirts and calculator. Audit time, baby!
2) A judge from traffic court – gavels are cheap and I stole, that is neglected to return my graduation gown.
3) A parent collecting candy in proxy for a child. Do you really know your neighbors? Well, a dark and stormy night is no time for introductions that might warp fragile minds. Dad or Mom should take the risk and reap the bounty instead.
4) A cult member. There’s no easier moment to recruit for INSERT CULT of CHOICE HERE than when the whole family expects someone else.
5) A librarian. It’s a good opportunity to demand all occupants return overdue books, particularly ones they never checked out.

I’m leaning strongly towards number three, that is if I did consider trick or treating acceptable for someone my age.