Author: Writer guy

Cliff-hangers

Writer guy

One key ingredient among thrillers, regardless of the underlying writing style, is the cliff-hanger. Webster defines the device as “an adventure serial or melodrama presented in installments each ending in suspense”. A spot on definition. The natural bookend to the hook, or lead-in, a good cliff-hanger leaves the reader wanting more.

After seven months of working on Velocity it’s my conclusion that ending every chapter with a cliff-hanger is a very difficult task, the opposite of what I expected. This is not for want of examples. Most television shows use the technique, and I’ve certainly watched my share of those. Films do it, and I’ve read a few dozen thrillers in the last few years. How hard could it be really? To me, pretty rough going, but part of the process.

Why bother so much with cliff-hangers? It all comes back to my single biggest obstacle: a lack of focus. Not that I can’t focus at the keyboard, but exploring the back story of a character, even where it isn’t necessarily part of the story is very tempting. Extremely tempting at times. Runaway narrative is fun for the writer, not so nifty for the reader.

And that’s where cliff-hangers come in, because thinking in terms of short, tight scenes impels focus. It forces a thorough consideration of the beginning, middle and end at the scene level. Focus is the means and a natural byproduct of the exercise.

While some cliff-hangers in Velocity are more dramatic than others, with twenty-three chapters in the can, I believe the the results are worth the time. So I’ll keep at them.

Marshall, Will and Holly

Writer guy

It was the worst program on television, yet it never disappointed. With acting unfit for a hooker, stories so contrived a monkey could write the ending, and a special effects budget equal to the average per capita income of Venezuela, the show was everything that was foul and indecent about the idiot box. God, I loved it. And now this same show may/may move to the big screen. What gem exactly you ask? That’s right – THE LAND OF THE LOST!

For those with better taste than myself, the premise was simple. Rick Marshall, a forest ranger, and his niece and nephew – Will and Holly – went a rafting. They hit a mighty run of rapids and woke up in Jurassic Park. They spent the next three years trying to get back to funky town. Don’t look for more plot than that. Or for great special effects.

When I say the effects were cheap, they were beyond thrifty. The sets were made of chicken wire and spray paint, and both components were visible in the finished product. But, for the primary enemies of Marshall, Will and Holly, the dinosaurs, the producers dug far deeper in the budget. They dug so deep they came up in someone else’s budget.

In fact, the dinosaurs were actually from other movies. Those on the down low will recognize the key action sequences from Japanese cinema. The producers merged stock film footage with footage of the actors running ( usually in the wrong direction ). And if the recycled dino footage wasn’t dangerous enough for our heroes, there were aliens too! Sleestaks and Cha-Ka and Enik oh my!

I hope this show really makes the leap to the big screen. The buzz says Will Ferrel may star as Rick Marshall. Good for him. A fantastically successful comedic actor could always use another 70’s TV show remake on his resume.

Shame on you Cingular

Writer guy

I drafted a nifty blog about the Land of the Lost movie but then Cingular Wireless provided with better material. Telco politics is a plague � and I’ve no interest in a Verizon/MCI/ATT/whatever long distance vs. Cingular. There’s a wireless plan for everyone, says I.

I thought I had the perfect plan. In fact, I do have the perfect plan, one that suits my business needs. The problem: I also had a second plan. A nifty two for one deal that no one mentioned even after the first bill. While enrolled in the unlimited data plan read UNLIMITED Cingular tacked a pay-per-use data charge onto my account.

Let’s just say the bill reached hundreds of dollars before I caught wind. Cingular’s web site is utterly useless and provided no meaningful breakdown about the charges, merely a total. And that’s another rant for another time.

Why in the name of all that’s holy a pay per use data charge can exist side by side with an unlimited data plan is beyond me. Customer care indicated that when they create a plan the system forbids such a configuration. Might be neat if the stores also had that same system, no?

Allegedly this glitch was adjusted and my account was credited back the difference. Let us hope. OK, rant over.

Hey teacher – leave those toads alone!

Writer guy

If anyone savors an explosion more than Americans, and one only need read the line in the national anthem that betrays our preoccupation with things blowing up – and the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air – it’s the Germans. But this time they’ve gone way too far. Now their toads are exploding!

To quote the Berlin AP – “Hundreds of toads have met a bizarre and sinister end in Germany in recent days, it was reported: they exploded.” This situation is so bad that experts have labeled a lake in Hamburg as “the pond of death.”

And the cause seems even more sinister than the end result. According to Otto Horst, a veterinarian, “I have never seen such a thing,” Which is German for – we have no idea why the hell this is happening. That goes double for me Otto. I don’t want to watch a toad burst. Unlike you Otto, I have a theory.

Look Germany – first you lead the Western world in unemployment (13.5%) and now your toads are exploding. Amphibians are the most sensitive to pollution and the first to feel the effects. It’s not a reach to assume that there are contaminants in that lake. Instead of dispatching biologists to watch the toads blow up at 2 AM every night – collect some batrachians who haven’t exploded and conduct autopsies. Sage advice. Unless all the doctors, chemists and pathologists are on the dole.

People of Germany, I’m here to help, not hurt.