Almost twelve years to the day Susan and I moved in together, the court system legally dissolved our marriage. For the past twenty-two months, we have lived separately. A divorce was the only option. For the record, this is the civil matter I mentioned in the prior entry.

Those who know our story, also know that the earliest connection we shared was Antioch Park. As children we both played there, neither having any idea the other person existed. One of the most salient features about the place was an all metal rocket ship twenty-five feet high, with a massive slide down the middle. Standing beside the behemoth structure was truly awesome to a seven-year old.

It sounds a bit odd now, but our initial meeting went very badly, and almost ended without either of us realizing we had anything in common. Until I mentioned an upcoming trip to Kansas. That off-handed reference led the conversation into Antioch Park, and then the rocket ship; that was when things really started clicking.

Shortly after meeting Susan, I visited my Grandparents. My mission was simple. To bring back a picture of the rocket ship. The only hitch: after walking forty-four acres in six inches of snow, the rocket ship was nowhere to be found. My grandfather and I found a park ranger who explained it had been sold for scrap in the late eighties. Though foiled, I took a lot of other pictures of the park, which made great talking points for a first date.

And the next thing I knew we were living together . . . and now we are divorced.

While a very amicable split, being bound to someone who lives more than an hour and half away, who I once saw daily and now only see when business compels it, has been quite a distraction. To end on a positive note in a clean fashion makes a huge difference.

I want to thank all my friends and family for being supportive, offering help when needed, and advice only when asked. You allowed me to plot the right course by offering me the best navigation tools you could–your faith that I would figure it out eventually. I never felt anything less than full approval from any of you.

The people who had my back: Mom and Dad, My grandparents, Pollster, Justin, Katie, The Men’s Group, Jaysen, Ian, Matt and Michelle, Todd, Jason, Super Duper Cooper, Elena, Bill, Ryan, Jon “call me Spike”.

Each of you brought me closer to who I am, and I am grateful. Thank you.

To Susan: May the one you choose love you back with the same level of intensity you extend them. May you find balance in all things. May you be happy, healthy and wise. May all your dreams come true. Thank you, Susan, for the experiences, the support, and the love. We’ve let each other go, for the right reasons, and at the right time.

You know, when I close my eyes, I can still see the rocket ship. And I understand why it’s no longer in Antioch Park. The kind park ranger had it half-right. The rocket ship disappeared, yes, but only because it took us where we needed to go.

Now it’s flying somewhere else.

The past few weeks have been very sparse in terms of posts. Bottom line: after a court date next week–civil court, rather than criminal–I’ll share the appropriate details and publish a lot more frequently. Till then, it will remain an unspoken hiatus of sorts around here.

Personal details being what they are, I’ve still held back way more than is really necessary because of the outstanding litigation. Which was a decision–reasonable though it was–that ultimately contributed to far fewer site updates. I’ve always strived to inject a sense of humanity into the site, and demonstrate that I do something besides read and write constantly. Hence entries about skydiving and Krav Maga. Even those type of entries all but disappeared.

But the silence. The path to it started innocently enough. Months ago, I posted a minor detail here that upset the other party in the lawsuit. It had very little to do with the legal matter itself. But by mentioning that the case existed, I made the situation more “public”, which in turn offended them. The infrequent correspondence turned non-existent.

From a financial standpoint, such a standoff becomes expensive as without communication, it takes longer to reach a settlement. And that’s the desired end in any legal proceeding: to get out fast while spending the absolute minimum on court fees and lawyers. Because if there’s anything more onerous than courts, it’s lawyers and their perpetual machine billing mechanisms. If they can dream of way to invoice, they will.

So I squelched the next entry that I planned, one which had a tiny reference to the case. That initial omission led to not mentioning other situations going on in my life, which had absolutely nothing to do with the case, but again, might ruffle some feathers and protract the matter–the last thing I wanted. Eventually I posted less and less.

Soon it seemed there was an ever growing list of issues that could be construed as sensitive and I found myself not really wanting to blog at all. Actually, I found myself not really wanting to write about anything, either. It was stifling.

And it was entirely my decision. Whether it was necessary, I think perhaps, though I took it to extremes. Still, the initial choice seemed like the right one at the time.

So I’m making another choice. More details will follow after the court date next week.