Never thought I could care about an ape after Planet of the Apes, but by the end, I rooted for the big guy.

What works about this movie:
1) Cast
2) Director
3) Story
4) Writing

I loved it. Peter Jackson is my hero.

Verdict: If you haven’t seen it on the big screen, please do, and buy the DVD. Because Peter Jackson deserves enough money to buy his own planet.

and don’t keep up your house, the county seizes it and paints the home neat colors.

Welcome to New Jersey. Come and see it for yourself.

When will the insanity stop?

I’ve come to the following conclusion at work — with some reservation — about my most recent predecessor:

1) He knew almost nothing about technology.
2) Ignorance did not get in his way; he broke goddamn near everything.

Things I would do to him, in this order:
1) Shake his hand.
2) Thank him for being incompetent.
3) Stuff him beneath a garbage dumpster, suit lapels facing the alley.

Heheheh. I’m an August man, myself.

Had the last of three phone calls with number six of The Eight. Long distance discussions regarding written materials are tricky, and we managed, though it required more time than other feedback session. Fortunately my cell provider offers a rollover plan, and the balance stood at 1400 minutes, at least before this week. Thank you, Cingular.

Based on number six’s encouragement, I decided to charge ahead without waiting for number seven. Before explaining that decision, consider the chronology of this novel.

January 7, 2004
Work on a primitive draft begins.

October 10, 2004.
After several false starts, decide that this time, no matter what, I’m writing thirty decent pages. If I fail, I’ll write another type of story. Or drink professionally again.

November 1, 2004.
Finish a solid draft. Manuscript stands at 353 pages.

November 7, 2005.
A week of revisions, a day of printing. Distribute manuscripts to the Eight ( pre-submit readers )

November 25, 2005
Numbers one and two of the Eight finish. Feedback discussions held. Numbers three, four and five follow in December.

Late December 2005.
Bowing to work pressure, number seven recuses self. Explanation understood by both sides.

January 21, 2006.
Last feedback discussion with number six.

The chronology makes me ponder the actual age of the project. On a timeline basis, the novel’s lifespan stands at twenty-four months. However, I consider it thirteen months old, because the real lifting happened between October 2004 and November 2005, ending with a two and change month lull while I collected reader feedback. Granted, waiting is part of the process — by some accounts, the most critical piece — but if my ass isn’t in a chair writing, it doesn’t feel like work.

And now to what may seem a rash decision: charging into the revisions without waiting for the last reader. Why reverse my position after waiting so long? Because it’s not a reversal. Though dubbed The Eight, I expected a few might never reach the finish line. Life happens, and most people have very little spare time for reading, especially during the holidays. When fate throws a curve, adapt. The surprise was not that one dropped out, and another remains at large, but that so many finished so quickly. To me, that two readers finished in less than three weeks is a very positive sign.

Starting Monday, I’ll review the master copy that has the critical suggestions from all readers, from page one, to the end. My plan of attack from that point:

1) Consolidate the feedback into a spreadsheet.
2) Using triage logic, rank the list into areas needing the most attention, and areas that are less important, a la Sol Stein. He’s edited more mega-sellers than most, and the tactic is straight out of his playbook. He ruled before spreadsheets were born, but the idea is the same.
3) Implment the fixes, most important first.
4) Follow step three, addressing each issue until completion.

How long might this process take? By mid-week, I’ll have an idea.

A recent policy change in health insurance forced me into an unpleasant situation: having to pay full market value for a medication. In US prices, it averages 4,400 per anum. Damn. That’s a good smoking habit, or 1/2 a bottle of quality gin every day. And I had to quit both of those.

Fortunately, the Internet delivered me from the madness. That’s right! Canadian and UK pharmacies fill prescriptions from US physicians at a fraction of US street prices. God bless subsidized medicine and open borders.

The reason this entry is filed under humor has to do with the transaction process. Here’s the full chronology, journal-style, from sign up, to receipt.

December 28, 2005
Fill out new patient form online, submit credit card info.

Five minutes later…
Confirmation email comes, with instructions for faxing or emailing scanned copy of the prescription and driver’s license. All seems lovely.

December 30, 2005
Fax copy of prescription and driver’s license to specified fax number. Still lovely.

January 3, 2006
A message from Vancouver, BC on my answering machine. They can not read my name on the prescription. Caller requests callback. A slight wrinkle.

January 4, 2006
Call number, ask for instruction. Told to re-fax prescription by attendant. Due to late hour, wait until morning.

January 5, 2006
Second answering machine message from Vancouver, BC. They have no record of my prescription or patient application. Please re-fax application and scrip. Confusion sets in.

January 6, 2006
Call number again, ask how application disappeared if they couldn’t read the name on the scrip two days prior. Told to re-fax. Get frustrated, look for another pharmacy, and walk away with my blood pressure intact.

January 10, 2006
Credit card bill arrives. Note charge from the site, including shipping on January 4, 2006. Small tremor. Call number again, ask why I was billed for a scrip they have no record of. Told that there are two pharmacies, one in United Kingdom, another in Vancouver. Order shipped via Royal Mail from UK on January 4, 2006. Assured it will appear by January 17,2006. Suggest to pharmacist that maybe both pharmacies need better communication. Assured communication between two pharmacies is excellent.

January 17, 2006
Package from UK arrives, via Royal Mail. Contents are accuracte and in correct amount. Final bill: 1/4 the US price.

A second phone call with number six of The Eight is scheduled tonight; the first was Tuesday. It’s odd working through the novel now. A lot of time has passed since finishing the draft. I remember the plot points clearly, the good parts, the parts I liked, but have no recollection of writing the clunkers. They were always there. Sentences that either go nowhere or fall like a brick. Even with all the rewriting in place, I missed them, so my conclusion is that the momentum of a project blocks the mind from noticing a certain type of flub in the moment. Otherwise, the ego is too battered.

The more interesting part, is that with distance, comes perspective. For instance, in one scene, a character was defined more by the questions he was asked, than his actual answers. An unintentional move, certainly. The scene works, and will hit the streets largely intact, but now I view both characters in a different way.