…from the silly season.
For fifteen years, my stepfather and I take turns regifting this jar. 2005 was his turn to receive. Next year, the container returns to me. Someday, I’ll continue the tradition with my son.
Writer guy treats holiday crowds to a puppet show. To stage left, note the micro Christmas tree and holiday stool.
Last, The Wife created a masterful centerpiece using her favorite gift: a fruit and vegetable carving kit.
Two movies out this week; two times I feel robbed. Come on, Hollywood.
Wolf Creek follows three college-aged hikers stranded near a national park – also the site of a meteor crash site rumored to short out mechanical devices. Miles from civilization, they accept an offer from a stranger for a tow back to his camp, where he promises a speedy fix for their car troubles. Beware the man who offers free repair services at midnight. And so the movie begins. Unfortunately, before that, the narrative drags the audience through the following:
1) Characters drinking and smoking at a party.
2) Characters diving into a pool with their clothes on.
3) Characters hungover, driving to Wolf Creek, and complaining about the effects of hard core partying.
4) Two of the characters thinking about kissing, then doing so.
5) Driving. Oh, boy, lots of time in a beat up car.
This story is inspired by true events. If it’s even close to what happened in Outback three years ago, all I have to say is someone belongs in jail. Like the director.
Here’s to a brighter 2006 in the movies.
Verdict: Pay per view on someone else’s credit card.
Family Stone is 2005’s original concept answer to a year of remakes and sequels. After watching this film, I wished they caved in and remade another 70’s TV show. Like G-Force, or David and Goliath. Maybe even the Six Million Dollar man, starring the little person from Fantasy Island.
Problem one: Slow pacing. To the director, I say, cut the first 15 minutes and get to the point. Please. To the theater goer, either bring a pillow, or poke out your eyes. The mind you save my be your own.
Problem two: The girl meeting the big, bad family for Xmas is a major PITA. I disliked her, and so did everyone in the audience. If she fell down the stairs, I would have cheered. Well, only if she died.
Problem three: Predictable. Even the grandmother bound in a wheelchair seven rows back knew what was coming next, and said so. At points the audience recited lines in lockstep with the characters.
What works:
1) It’s safe for all audiences. The only person it might offend are those who enjoy laughter.
2) The story could work as a Sunday afternoon movie. At least with a different cast, director and script.
Verdict: Cable, or a free movie rental on an airplane.
Seems like forever and a day since the last update, but I’m back now, rested, relaxed and ready.
A single sentence tested my resolve. Over a Chinese food dinner, fate dealt me this fortune cookie message:
“If you think you’re too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.”
Freak accident at the print shop, or a cruel twist of humor? I’ll let someone else decide. A bigger mosquito, perhaps. Meantime, I’m laminating this fortune.