Day: July 19, 2005

Atkins

Writer guy

It’s 1998 and I’m on Atkins. Wait, that’s a half-truth. It’s 2005 and I’m on Atkins. The eating plan was hip seven years back. Since then, everyone and my aunt tried and failed on this diet, I know. These days Atkins is not only out, it’s off most restaurant menus and grocery shelves. Who suffers low carb purgatory when Baja Fresh and Panera Bread offer takeout service in hundreds of convenient locations? Who, indeed.

Some twisted person who enjoys headaches, leg cramps and constipation, I guess.

So, bring on the heavy cream, sour cream, olive oil and cheeses. Lay that fat slab of pork roast on my plate. Gimme some Gouda and a burger, and hold the bun.

Follow the mystery of whether man can thrive on three cups of veggies, two hundred grams of protein, and a big old helping of natural fats per day, unravels.

By the way, this is day two. Last night I dreamed of pizza with pepperoni. In the morning, the Wife had no buttons on her pajamas.

Willy Wonka

Writer guy

Dark, disturbing, and creepy, Johnny Depp not only proves his mettle as a great actor, he channels the spirit of Michael Jackson in a way that makes me laugh instead of triple-checking my zipper.

I liked this movie, but a review in a conventional context is impossible. When in doubt reach for a list.

What works about Willy Wonka:

1) Use of subtext – as in the original, plenty of plays on words, and innuendos. I leave those to interpreation.

2) Characters – good caricatures with strong ties to the book.

3) Story – clean, mean and lean. Wonka’s motivations and background are much clearer this time around. That balances out his father issues and predilection for children.

4) Johnny Depp – the man!

5) Effects – top notch!

Verdict: Movie theater, matinee. Since the film is almost a “family� piece, expect children and teenagers who think they are in their living room.

Caveats: Please don’t let your children hang out with Willy Wonka, or the other guy.