Homer is my favorite Simpson. I admire the consistent and dense beard stubble and his passion for donuts, cheap domestic beer and cheese slices. Regardless what Fox pays the dream team of Harry Shearer, Julia Kavner, Nancy Cartwright and Dan Castellenata - the voice actors that bring the Simpson to life – the benefits of their hard work are beyond equal.

The Simpsons humble beginning also impress me. The series grew from a sketch on the Tracy Ullman Show. Matt Groening, author of the cult comic strip Life is Hell didn’t want to corrupt his beloved characters. So when Fox asked for a short piece for television, he crafted a new family on demand. The Simpsons were in a fact a throwaway piece of work. Seventeen years later, that “throwaway” still brings home the Benjamins.

Which sure proves the old saying, future value is impossible to predict.

Meet the driver next door.

Parking a car, even a large sedan isn’t that wonderfully complicated. Is it?

John Lennon once said, “a conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words.” From the deafening response to the last blog, there’s enormous interest in international crime and justice blurbs among readers. Right? Perhaps I’ll just keep this hobby to myself.

I’m posting half of a short story early next week. It has nothing to do with Mike Brody, or any other writing project. Stylistically it differs from those projects and the writing on this blog. The official plan: post in a blog entry, allow comments, then revise based on the comments. I’ll post the corrected first half and everyone can comment again. If it works, then we cycle through the second half. This way anyone can read it and only those who register can comment. A fair and workable arrangement.

I’ve promised this before, but it meant finding the right story, one that interested yet didn’t consume me. There’s only room for so many obsessions in my life. This semi-detached approach lowers my defenses enough so that I can receive the comments.

Hopefully this works out.

I’ve always been a bit of a crime and justice report junkie, even without a TV. By the way, the TV was not stolen and I’m not Amish. There’s just no TV set here, OK? Some people don’t have telephones either.

Most crimes that the local news covers are robberies, break-ins, assaults and such. National crime stories involve terror plots, kidnappings or serial killers. While more gripping, relishing such stories is on the creepy side. International stories, though, are a treasure trove of entertainment. The fact that the crime didn’t occur on my continent provides an appropriate backdrop for laughter. Lots of it.

Today I turn to Brussels, where a bank robber serving a four year sentence on armed robbery set a new precedent. Certainly, armed robberies happen in the United States. But this armed robber wrote off the cost of the gun used in the crime for tax purposes and the court system ( presumably the same one that sentenced him ) upheld the deduction.

You know, I just can’t make this stuff up.

Perhaps a weekly entry that feature bizarre international crime and justice stories might be of interest? Please sound off in the comments.

Titles with meanings, even obscure ones, separate a memorable blog from one I can’t recall writing a month later. This blog is the former. I hope.

The title �Bury the Wil Wheaton Within� doesn’t mean hey, somebody go hurt Wil Wheaton. No, that would be wrong. If you really must, it’s on your own karma. Don’t email me any details in advance or afterwards. And note that I abhor violence towards anyone. Cream pies at gala public gatherings are much funnier.

Wil Wheaton Within is a generic name for a serious disease. This is not a disease that afflicts just a fringe celebrity who’s less famous as an adult than as a child, or a writer who spends more time preparing for auditions and acting than writing. Those are personal time management decisions. It is a disease that afflicts many; famous, semi-famous and unknown.

The primary and most severe symptom is a self inflicted denial of what one wants. A review of Wil’s blog suggests that he wants to act. He blogs about acting and possible jobs often, more than any mention of writing, or book signings. No one suffers the relentless and grueling heartbreak of auditions without wanting, perhaps even needing the job at the other end. Yet for all the ink to the contrary, I suspect that acting is not what Wil wants. I sense the real want is approval, approval for something that is entirely out of his hands, thus more often than not disappointment follows.

Why do I think this? Because for quite awhile I’ve had the Wil Wheaton bug, taunting me like a monkey on the back. In the end of the day, I like writing more than most anything. No one pays me to do it, still I write anyway. Whether or not anyone ever pays me for it is out of my hands. All I can do is write and submit. Recently the plain truth of this hit me. Nearly everything about a writing career is beyond the writer’s control. My say ends at the page. Denying this holds me back, but accepting this renders any disappointment moot. All that matters is that I write.

And so this moment of reckoning buries the Wil Wheaton Within.

As promised, Master Buddhapuss.

Oh Zen Master - I am about to embark upon the wonderful world of moving: boxes, tape, packing peanuts, heavy lifting. Do you have any zen-like advice to make this chore easier?
Sincerely, Sherri in St. Louis
Dear Sherri,
Why yes I do have advice. Thanks for asking. Moving provides an excellent opportunity for enhancing karma by ridding oneself of excess possessions. Now is the time for pruning. Look around your present abode and ask, “How many of these items do I use? How many items are never used? Would Buddhapuss enjoy that DVD player more than me? Why am I talking to myself?”
All brilliant comedy aside, Zen cautions against owning unused goods - for the more you possess - the more it possesses you. Items that are not used, are useless and drain your energy levels. So pack only items that represent positive energies, like down comforters and the refrigerator. Lastly, remember moving companies charge by the pound. The lower the weight, the lower the bill.
Best of luck in your new home. Please send pictures.
2005 - The Year of the Buddhapuss,
Master Buddhapuss

Went to the warehouse today on Buddhapuss Books business. Between the repeated seventy-five step walk from the car ( yep, felt everyone last one ) and three flights of stairs, I am, as the great magnet in the sky said, wrecked. A thousand bucks of books at wholesale prices is heavy.

Master Buddhapuss returns Friday.

Thanks to everyone for commenting this week. It may be a coincidence but lately traffic has increased.