Month: May 2004

Low Carb Blogging

Writer guy

The Ruby Tuesday’s near our house has been a quiet forgotten corner in the franchise, but all that changed recently when they went low carb. Before the switch, this was the sort of place one could walk into on a Saturday night at 7pm and get a table with a no minute wait.

Now the same place packs them in and the secret is the new menu and fare. Not only do they offer low carb choices, but the menu discloses the caloric breakdown of every item for sale, including booze and desserts. These days the only easy night to snag a table is Monday.

In an effort to better serve samhilliard.com readers, I’m proud to announce our new low carb venture. Effective now, these blogs are 100 percent carb free! No carbs ever! And there’s no fat, no excess fiber, no MSG and we never fry in partially hydrogenated oil. Sodium? Never touch the stuff.

You see you just gotta read this blog, because it’s good for the body. That’s right samhilliard.com a 100 percent pure blog. And now with no carbs!

Shrek 2

Writer guy

Everyone’s favorite green dude is back for 105 minutes of non stop animated goodness. Thought the wedding in the Shrek 1 was the happily ever after part, did you? No sir for Shrek is more than a one trick ogre and he’s got to win his harshest critic yet, his father in law.

Jammed start to finish with laughs and zany antics Donkey, Shrek and a new sidekick Puss in Boots are off to help Shrek morph into something more acceptable to Princess Fiona’s parents. Along the way he and his green bride learn an important lesson about accepting themselves.

Some choice points about Shrek 2.

1) Puss in Boots. The new character does a lot to balance out the Donkey/Shrek relationship. Another interspecies buddy film would’ve been a bit too much a second time around. And Puss is one cute kitty.

2) Disney spoofs. Pick any character in the Disney catalog and it has a cameo and every one of them is spot on funny.

3) Excellent use of a large ensemble cast. This makes Shrek look even better and more lovable because his support team is so strong.

4) It’s exactly the right length.

5) After suffering through a 1 act play that ran for 2 hours with no intermission, just the night before, I’m acutely aware of when something has jumped the shark. Shrek 2 does not jump the shark. The quality is consistent start to finish.

6) Did I mention Puss in Boots is cute?

Verdict: go see Shrek 2. DVD it, Rent it, matinee it, whatever it but do see it!

Hold that thought

Writer guy

Tonight I get to sleep in my own bed. That sounds strange, but it’s true; my parents return from their trip in a few hours.

On the writing front working off site has impacted the output a bit, although I did manage to squeeze out some pages at my parent’s PC, so it wasn’t a complete time drain. Considering the dogs like to jam their noses in my side whenever I’m seated, even 5 pages is a man vs. nature type of victory.

Lesson for me, I’m just more productive working at my favorite desk and chair, but a stark departure in environments need not be an insurmountable obstacle.

Hound Attack

Writer guy

My parent’s hounds are on steroids, Dianobol, Decanol, some kind of bol for sure. If they aren’t ingesting some kind of doggy growth hormone then they’ve been spending far too much time hitting the weights because last night we witnessed super dog strength.

Picture this, a hot muggy night; the Wife is dressed in heels and evening attire piloting 170 combined pounds of dog. I’m riding shotgun armed with a plastic bag full of nasty stuff. We round the corner, casa de Parents easily within our grasp. We could smell how close the house is, if not for the plastic bag. After a brutal half mile struggle the only thing on my mind is ditching the bag and collapsing in bed.

Now the real wrinkle; there’s a dog right in front of my parents house, chilling with its owners. Curious, the hounds of hell dash across the road, hauling the Wife in her traction free high heels behind them. The third dog freezes, paralyzed at the sight of the flying beasts.

Just as the hounds reach terminal velocity and leap from the street up onto the curb, the choke chain that connects the two dogs on a single leash catches on a metal Stop sign post, halting the dogs mid stride. This solves the immediate problem of the hounds eating the third dog, only now we have 170 pounds of dog wrapped around a Stop sign. Eventually we untangle them and everyone goes home unhurt.

But tragically, there was one assault victim last night, for the sign post is now the Leaning Tower of Pisa.