Month: February 2004

Run run run

Writer guy

Is it just me or are there lots of holidays in February, especially since it’s the shortest month of the year? February houses some of the the most critical days as well, Groundhog Day, President’s day, Lincoln’s Birthday, Valentine’s day and my birthday.

More US presidents were Aquarians ( which covers nearly all of February ) than any other astrological sign. Coincidence? I sure as hell hope so, because add my lack of a presidential pension to the fact that I’m not Hugh Grant and I’ve failed my mom once more. My photo ( coming next Sunday ) will prove that.

Now closing in on the 50 page mark on novel number next, we enter the second week of waiting for a response from the prospective agent. I checked my mail box on Saturday afternoon. There was no rejection letter there, so that’s encouraging. Kinda.

One of the more frustrating things is that publishing scorns certified mail. Since they also discourage phone calls, there’s no way to know they received your communication unless they contact you. Well, good for them. They don’t make their money by telling me they got my letter in the mail, right?

Two turntables and a microphone

Writer guy

I got an email from a reader and they want to know what I look like. Others, such as editor person have suggested posting a picture. To them I said, look my picture is up at samhilliard.com already.

However, some readers feel this shot obscures my face. Right now, it’s popular to post a picture of one eye. I considered that for a moment, but seeing one eye reminds me of Big Brother or the symbol on the back of a dollar bill. Remember I read the site too, and I don’t want me staring back at me.

So, I’m reasonable. You want a better picture of writer guy on the site, you’ll get a better picture. Check back one week from today.

Valentine’s Day Massacre

Writer guy

Ah, Valentine’s day. Once a year whether we like it or not, the price of red roses skyrockets, restaurants fill to capacity and diamond jewelers rejoice. Guys worldwide pop the question to the girl of their dreams with help of two months salary now in the form of a shiny stone. New this year, guys can also pop the question to the guy of their dreams, although this varies by locale.

I’ve long had a special relationship with the occasion, because of my birthday. As the tale goes, it was down to the wire, mom was exhausted after 27 hours of labor and threatened that if I didn’t abandon ship immediately, my name was Valentino. It was a narrow escape.

Now that I’m older, I think Valentine’s Day means taking time to let that person you’re with know that – hey person – you’re the one I want to be with.

So to the wife, who can’t read this because she’s home today and I’m on the computer writing – I choose you today.

To my old friend who’s popping the question, I’m in your corner, bro. I’m in the corner of your apartment watching your TV and borrowing a few CD’s. I figured you wouldn’t mind since you’re out tonight getting engaged in a fancy restaurant. Next time leave the door unlocked…

You say it’s your birthday

Writer guy

I’m fighting the urge to wax philosophical today as it is my birthday. But no! I will instead be entertaining, or fall down trying. Warning, I’m old now (31), so I might fall down the stairs at any time.

So the wife and I went to the vet last night for the boy’s checkup and annual inoculations and it was bad juju all around.

Vet: Look sam, your cat has got to lose weight.
sam: What about the wife’s cat? Doesn’t her cat need to lose weight?
Vet: Actually, her cat needs to gain weight.
sam: Well maybe her cat shouldn’t leave her dinner bowl half full where Oedipus can get to it, hmmm?

Then the vet showed me pictures of a cat from three different angles, overhead, side and head on. Studying the massive paunch around the pictured cat’s midsection it was clear to me there was a problem.

Vet: Now having seen those pictures what do you notice about Oedipus?
sam: The cat in the picture needs to lose weight.
Vet: And don’t you think your cat looks just like the cat in the picture?
sam: Not at all. Oedipus is much better looking.