I was chatting with a friend who’s totally fed up with the dating scene. Below is a transcript. Screennames changed to protect the innocent.<\/p>\n
[22:18] crazybuddy: im thinking of taking myself out for a date<\/p>\n
[22:18] crazybuddy: the question is do i try and get myself drunk?<\/p>\n
[22:18] sam: that depends, do you need to? will you take no for an answer?<\/p>\n
[22:19] crazybuddy: maybe. will i respect myself in the morning?<\/p>\n
[22:20] sam: probably not, I’m betting.<\/p>\n
[22:20] crazybuddy: should i splurge? go all out? get the apple martini?<\/p>\n
[22:20] sam: oh yeah, spare no expense. nice bottle of Merlot. at least 5 bucks.<\/p>\n
[22:21] crazybuddy: do i pick myself up? or meet me there?<\/p>\n
[22:21] crazybuddy: where do i go afterwards?<\/p>\n
[22:22] sam: somewhere private. like your closet.<\/p>\n
[22:24] crazybuddy: damn. i hate dating<\/p>\n
[22:25] crazybuddy: already i don’t see much hope for a second date<\/p>\n
[22:25] crazybuddy: i’m afraid i only want one thing<\/p>\n
[22:25] crazybuddy: do i even want to get to know the real me?<\/p>\n
[22:25] sam: I don’t know the real you, so…<\/p>\n
[22:27] crazybuddy: should i reply to my text messages?<\/p>\n
[22:27] crazybuddy: or wait for 24 hours play hard to get….<\/p>\n
[23:06] crazybuddy: all right<\/p>\n
[23:06] crazybuddy: i go bed now<\/p>\n
[23:06] crazybuddy: and think about where i’m going to take me<\/p>\n
\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was chatting with a friend who’s totally fed up with the dating scene. Below is a transcript. Screennames changed to protect the innocent. [22:18] crazybuddy: im thinking of taking myself out for a date [22:18] crazybuddy: the question is do i try and get myself drunk? [22:18] sam: that depends, do you need to? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10790","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10790","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10790"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10790\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10790"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10790"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10790"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}