Time for funny 2004 Halloween stories via my mother. Thanks mom! Hey, where’s my candy?<\/p>\n
College student appears at the door wearing a Kohl’s shopping bag with holes cut out for his head and arms. <\/p>\n
Mom: What are you supposed to be?
\nCollege Student: Heh. I’m white trash. Get it?<\/p>\n
Later: two high school students appear, a boy and a girl. The boy carries a pillowcase, the girl does not. Mom hands them candy. Clutching the booty, the girl jams Kit Kats into her cargo pants.<\/p>\n
Mom ( to the girl ): Aren’t you going to run out of room for candy in your pockets?
\nBoy: There’s plenty of room in there. I should know. They’re my pants.<\/p>\n
New this year, proxy trick or treating. This requires one child from a large group to ring the bell. The horde remains at the sidewalk, while the loner demands candy for the group. Mom’s response – \u201cThey want candy? Then they walk to the door. This is Halloween, not Domino’s.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Time for funny 2004 Halloween stories via my mother. Thanks mom! Hey, where’s my candy? College student appears at the door wearing a Kohl’s shopping bag with holes cut out for his head and arms. Mom: What are you supposed to be? College Student: Heh. I’m white trash. Get it? Later: two high school students […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10301"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10301\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.samhilliard.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}