That’s right. Grandpa might be a student of Cane-Fu–the art of defending ones self with a walking cane. Only these are more than just walking canes. Made of harder woods, with a wider crooks for hooking . . . um, crooks, these specialty fighting sticks are sturdy enough to topple an attacker.

If you have the right training.

Updated 7/22/2009 – in response to a comment from Ted, here is a link to the official source on Cane-Fu.

His answer was, I think, affirmative, but at that point the adrenaline was running my body and large sections of my brain. So he might have said something more like, “Are you OK?”

Basically, it was my turn to swing a fighting stick at his head, holding it like a bat, with a two hand grip. Matching my velocity, he trapped my hands and then locked my wrist while stepping around me. Add a little nudge of the shoulder, it could have sent me downwards in an embarrassing heap, along the same trajectory as the motion of the bat.

As I crumpled, the wrist lock softened my grip on the stick. While the instructor could have stripped the “bat” then–we had done so a dozen times before–he missed the weapon grab.

So the cylinder went tumbling, answerable only to the whims of gravity. By some quirk of physics, one tip of the fighting stick found the ground at the same time as my body–most of it still in freefall–found the opposite end. My momentum drove the stick at a steep angle into the soil. Since the dense wood refused to bend, it slid across my chest as I rolled off in the opposite direction.

The net result: a nifty scrape and bruise a foot long and an inch wide, three inches below my collarbone and about five beneath my throat.

Shazam. Near impalement. And just before Halloween, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9SuA-Ehp2o

Safe for work, of course, though not for the meek . . .

On a more recreational note, I’m having fun with The Confession. It’s been a slow ramp up, but the gains of translating something that consists almost entirely of dialog into a blend of third person narrative and snippets of adversarial exchanges, are becoming more visible. The work even seems worthwhile, albeit a bit tedious at times.

Speaking of time, it’s taking much more than forecast. The initial resolution called for a stable draft by July. I have … well, imagine something like a quarter draft.

So that commitment means a lot of work over the next six weeks. May require some reinforcements. I bet this guy can help:

The injury happened during a training a Krav Maga training exercise. And honestly, I learned so much during that particular class if it wasn’t for the constant aching pain, I’d say being sidelined for a month while the ribs heal is a worthwhile trade-off.

Next time I’ll be ready when my training partner brings the fury. . .

A lot of maneuvers are compound and blitzkrieg style. In other words, in one scenario: nail the chin from below with the elbow, bring it back down on top of the chin, slice the right cheek with the elbow, back again, and this time taking the left side, and finally slam the throat. Note that a single attack consisted of five separate strikes.

The sheer fury of moves like this begs the question: how many strikes are sufficient in the real world? And there are two answers, one which really matters, and another which does not.

Because it’s variable, the literal answer about what constitutes sufficient counterforce does not really matter. Depending the opponent, their conditioning level, intent and skill, all five strikes might be necessary to topple them. Or maybe they have a glass jaw and crumple instantly. But the problem is, because the tolerance level is so variable, there’s no way to predict someone’s breaking point in advance. Which makes grasping for an exact answer not a very good move at all when in the midst of flying fists.

So the practical answer–the one that counts–is once you are in a fight, be ready for anything. Do what it takes to get the attacker on the ground and get the fuck away from them.

Quickly.

“Krav Maga is an eclectic self-defense and military hand-to-hand combat system developed in Israel, which assumes no quarter, and emphasizes maximum threat neutralization in a “real life” context. It came to prominence following its adoption by various Israeli Security Forces.”

Another way to think about it:

“The pages other martial arts school tear out of their rulebook because they consider them illegal are standard operating procedure in Krav.” – Commando Krav Maga instructor

So, the first rule of Krav Maga is that the rules defy convention. By keeping the protocol so flexible, Krav Maga provides the training a person needs to survive a street fight, home invasion, or random beating. Unlike the controlled setting of a classroom or tournament, in the real world, the odds may be stacked overwhelmingly against a target. Punches, kicks and chokes are likely wild and poorly formed. Anything can happen. Anything does happen.

Also different from most other disciplines, a threat is a threat, no matter the source or gender. Therefore women and men train side by side and are treated identically by fellow students and instructors. Very equalizing.

The Western belt factory system that turned me away from martial arts in the first place works differently in Krav. Skirting the history of belts in the West for reasons of brevity, critics have long argued that belts earned in many US schools may not correlate to real world proficiency. In competition, after a good hit, the referee intervenes and the opponents separate. In life, the punches keep on coming. Now while there are belts or badges in Krav, they are completely optional. I’ll be opting out.

If you are studying Krav Maga, you will make contact and get hit. Everywhere. Night one, I was choked, hit in the biceps, chest, stomach, groin, ankle, foot, inner and outer thigh, shoulder and wrist. I tasted the mat several times. This morning I have bruises on my thighs and biceps, and tell-tale finger marks around my throat.

But I learned 8 different moves for clearing a choke hold.

And I can’t wait to go back Thursday.