OK prospective agent, here’s what I pledge to do as your client.

I will:

1) Deliver my best work on time, every time.

2) Listen to each and every suggestion offered.

3) Hear feedback as suggestions rather than criticism.

4) Modify manuscripts as needed when asked, delivering revisions in a timely fashion.

5) Respect, appreciate and recognize all the hard work happening behind the scenes.

6) Understand that publishing is a conservative business and closing the right deal takes time. And that sap flows faster across a frozen lake.

I will NOT:

1) Call, unless returning your call.

2) Ask “What have you done for me lately?”

3) Scream “SHOW ME THE MONEY!” at you or any representative of your agency.

4) Tell you how to run your agency.

5) Ask for friendship, solace, support, tax advice, cab fare or a bottle of Bombay gin during the holiday season. I drink Tanqueray.

In short–you do the agent thing, I’ll do the writer thing. Win-win.