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Archive for August, 2006

Lord

Tuesday, August 1st, 2006
Pity the cold callers who reach me at work. At home I have a little more patience with them, though barely. Today I ripped into one during an unsolicited phone call. The company has contacted the school several times about a product that extends the life of toner cartridges. In theory this sounds great; however, in practice I have neither heard of the corporation nor anyone who uses their products. Needless to say, my defenses touch off whenever a call starts with, am I speaking with the person in charge of ( insert technical commodity ). Today marks the second instance that one of their representatives tried wooing me. A sample of the first: Leech: Am I speaking with the person in charge of the printer maintenance? Sam: Yes. Leech: Good. How are you today, sir? Sam: Better when this call ends, I think. Leech: My companys makes a product that does X for just Y you can have 500 units. Sam: I'm not buying 500 units of something I've never heard of. Leech: Oh, well we have a special 250 unit pack. Would that be better? Sam: Not really. Leech: Since you are so concerned about value, I'd like to offer you the 100 unit pack. That's a savings of almost 75 percent! Sam: I know what would work for me. Send me some company literature, and I'll review it and then decide. Leech: How about a 25 unit pack? That's 95 percent off. Sam: How about you put something in writing, then I get back to you. Here's our mailing address. Leech ( hangs up ) One month later.... SonOfLeech: Am I speaking to the person in charge of the printers? Sam: Yes. SonOfLeech: I'm from X company and we sell a product that solves all your toner woes. Sam: I think I spoke with someone before from your company. You have a 500, 250 and 100 unit pack right? SonOfLeech: Yes. Which can I put you down for? Sam: Put me down for company literature. SonOfLeech: Sir, this will save money on toner cartridges.... Sam: Here's my mailing address. Unless you are willing to put this offer in writing and send me a catalog, we're not doing business. SonOfLeech: But.. Sam: Do you want the address? SonOfLeech: Have a good day, sir. Sam ( hangs up ) Dear God, please fill them with the courage to call again. I want to test out my "psycho" tech guy routine.