It was the worst program on television, yet it never disappointed. With acting unfit for a hooker, stories so contrived a monkey could write the ending, and a special effects budget equal to the average per capita income of Venezuela, the show was everything that was foul and indecent about the idiot box. God, I loved it. And now this same show may/may move to the big screen. What gem exactly you ask? That’s right – THE LAND OF THE LOST!
For those with better taste than myself, the premise was simple. Rick Marshall, a forest ranger, and his niece and nephew – Will and Holly – went a rafting. They hit a mighty run of rapids and woke up in Jurassic Park. They spent the next three years trying to get back to funky town. Don’t look for more plot than that. Or for great special effects.
When I say the effects were cheap, they were beyond thrifty. The sets were made of chicken wire and spray paint, and both components were visible in the finished product. But, for the primary enemies of Marshall, Will and Holly, the dinosaurs, the producers dug far deeper in the budget. They dug so deep they came up in someone else’s budget.
In fact, the dinosaurs were actually from other movies. Those on the down low will recognize the key action sequences from Japanese cinema. The producers merged stock film footage with footage of the actors running ( usually in the wrong direction ). And if the recycled dino footage wasn’t dangerous enough for our heroes, there were aliens too! Sleestaks and Cha-Ka and Enik oh my!
I hope this show really makes the leap to the big screen. The buzz says Will Ferrel may star as Rick Marshall. Good for him. A fantastically successful comedic actor could always use another 70′s TV show remake on his resume.
