I wasn’t looking for a moral conflict about a wild animal last Saturday, but life had other plans. Ah, the cruel cycle of irony. A rustling sound, like metal strips against concrete alerted me of the problem. The investigation, while hasty, was thorough and revealed a squirrel shaped like a watermelon trapped in a cage.
A cage like thus:
Generally speaking, animals are cool with me, although if nature Darwins out praying mantises, I’ll host the extinction party. But back to the dilemma: what to do about Sebastian the watermelon squirrel. One of the most effective problem solving techniques is the passive approach. Give the problem space and it might self resolve. An effort free technique, it requires no stress and is a favorite of most American managers. Fourteen hours later Sebastian still railed against the prison walls like a man in need of a conjugal visit.
The passive approach had failed, so I pondered the vigilante method: throw the trap in the trunk, drive to my ex-bosses house and introduce Sebastian to his wife. Since neither Sebastian and I had shaved recently, this option was nixed. Besides, unleashing a squirrel on another neighborhood is rather like dumping a kid from Bel Air on downtown Newark. The fish out of water is at a disadvantage.
Freeing Sebastian on the front lawn was a possibility. However, that meant replacing the peanut butter bait before the landlord uncovered the deception. And I had already fed all the peanut butter to Sebastian. Then the solution hit me. I’m a renter! With no haste or regard for the late hour, I left a brief message for the landlord.
Sam: Hi, just calling you at one in the morning. There’s a squirrel caught in the trap, and it’s cold so I moved him in the basement and gave him lots of food and water. Don’t worry the trap is closed.
Ah, problem solved. The trap disappeared the next morning. In the face of chaos, decisive action delivers results.