They say thirty one is too old for trick or treating. Then again they also say you’re only as old as you think you are. Now in that spirit, let’s just say someone roughly that age decides that soliciting candy or other tax free donations is a nifty idea. A person of such ilk has a very special need for a costume. Otherwise said trick or trick treater will stick out from the curb.

Here’s some things I, er…someone my age, could dress up as for Halloween:

1) An IRS agent. Already have the cheap brief case, starch shirts and calculator. Audit time, baby!
2) A judge from traffic court – gavels are cheap and I stole, that is neglected to return my graduation gown.
3) A parent collecting candy in proxy for a child. Do you really know your neighbors? Well, a dark and stormy night is no time for introductions that might warp fragile minds. Dad or Mom should take the risk and reap the bounty instead.
4) A cult member. There’s no easier moment to recruit for INSERT CULT of CHOICE HERE than when the whole family expects someone else.
5) A librarian. It’s a good opportunity to demand all occupants return overdue books, particularly ones they never checked out.

I’m leaning strongly towards number three, that is if I did consider trick or treating acceptable for someone my age.