I’m all into decaffeinated coffee these days. To a barrista though, the phrase “decaf please” seems to pass straight through their ears, much like yelling for water in the middle of a desert.

Anyway here’s a trick to make sure you get decaf. If you’re so inclined.

sam: I’d like a decaf Iced Latte Mocha decaf.
Barrista: What size?
sam: Medium decaf.
Barrista: You want sugar?
sam: Just decaf.
Barrista: Whipped cream?
sam: Decaf please.

Barrista begins preparing beverage, pausing after 30 seconds.

Barrista: Sir, you wanted decaf right?