Month: March 2004

Silent bob, silent blog

Writer guy

Jersey Girl the movie will be in theaters March 26th. Being a Jersey guy by transplantation ( I was born elsewhere as was the wife ), I have a special curiosity. The rumors that surround the film are as rampant as are the spoilers. Over ten years ago I saw Clerks on one of the few screens it ran on in NJ theaters, Kevin Smith was in the audience. When he shot Chasing Amy in Red Bank I sold him a bunch a cigarettes in the convenience store I worked in. So we go way back. 🙂

Here’s what I do know about Jersey Girl. None of the stars are from Jersey. The guy who wrote and directed it no longer lives in Jersey. They did shoot lots of the film in Paulsboro, New Jersey but only after Ben Affleck agreed to take a paycut, because Miramax wanted it done in Canada to save a million bucks. Imagine that, that it costs a lot to get anything done in New Jersey. There’s a mighty shocker.

The movie had 2 earlier release dates, including the 19th of March. There were several “final cuts” of the film. When Gigli bombed, the film was re cut and rescheduled several more times.

Here’s my bet sight unseen on Jersey Girl.
1) It’s not going to look like a Kevin Smith film. The trailers are a pretty good clue to that.
2) It’s going to be funny in parts. Some parts may be very funny. Some parts are going to outright unfunny.
3) Whether it sinks or swims is going to come down to how much people respond to the notion of Ben Affleck playing a responsible guy with a kid.

Boy, that sounds a lot like another Ben Affleck aw shucks routine to me.

But like they say in Hollywood, no one knows nothing. So prove me wrong Silent Bob! I’m rooting for you to pull a Chasing Amy and surprise everyone. Don’t let this be Mallrats revisted with bigger stars and a slick ad campaign.

Hidalgo

Writer guy

Hidalgo is one of those films that Hollywood refers to as a “inspired by a true story” story. Since the person who inspired it, Frank Hopkins is dead, and has been since 1951, I’m going to presume he had little to no influence on this film. Mr. Hopkins, please cover your eyes for this review is not pretty. My apologies to you in advance sir. I mean no harm.

In the simplest terms this is a goal film and the goal is to win a horse race through the most treacherous terrain known to man. I was surprised to see this terrain did not include Newark at 2am on a Saturday night. Is that not treacherous? Hidalgo is a period piece which seems unnecessary since 80 percent of it is set in the desert. It’s hot. It’s sandy. It’s Iraq. How much has that really changed in the last 100 years?

If the film centered entirely on the race, it might have been OK. The problem is that the motives for Hopkins to win the race are neither clear nor seem worth what he went through. He’s cast as this “I’m in it for the hell of it” kinda guy with a zippy horse. OK, neat. We learn a little bit about Frank Hopkins and Viggo Mortensen does make him seem interesting. But an interesting and slightly amusing Frank Hopkins does not an exciting goal film make.

The other key characters face serious limitations, I wanted more of them but more never came. This is a case where the parts shine individually but fail to gel when pieced together.

Another problem working against this film is that it followed shortly after horse movie, Seabiscuit. In many ways, Seabiscuit filled America’s need for such dramas for the next decade. So maybe I’m a little burnt on the magic horse thing. I’ll be the first to admit that bias.

The good parts about this film include the good looking horse and the believable rapport between Hidalgo and Frank. The special effects were good. A few of the jokes worked well. The cameras were all in focus.

In the end, this film is best suited for cable. When it comes to HBO give it a whirl and save your ducats.

Uh oh

Writer guy

I’m dying, of that I’m certain, of what is less clear. For the past 72 hours my ears, eyes, sinus cavity and chest have been under constant attack. Is this the flu? Ah, it feels much worse than any mere flu.
The disease also has brain wasting properties. My lack of concentration levels rivals only those born after 1997, the very age group which scientists proved recently to be brain dead. You’re unaware of said theorem? According to doctor once employed by the Weekly World News, Gameboy + McDonald’s + No exercise = Reduced brain wave activity. And just think we’ve got a whole generation of them.
At present, I can concentrate just long enough to write the blog, then must blow my nose and wash my hands so as not to infect the wife with this toxic agent.
Is there a doctor reading this? Based on my symptoms tell me, how long do I have left? I can take it. I’ve known the bitter taste of rejection. This current setback is just one chapter of longer tale. Oh yes, I shall prevail. Even over insurmountable odds and deadly afflictions.
Excuse me please, it’s time for another trip to the bathroom.

URGENT!

Writer guy

I’m preempting the blog I wrote for this breaking message.

A prospective agent requested to see the first 3 chapters of The Ridge Runner today.!

Very cool. This is a good next step for Mike Brody. I’ll keep you posted as things develop. Nope, I’m not saying who the prospective agent is. Nope, I don’t know if they will decide to represent me. Remember publishing is a very, very conservative business and things like decisions take a long time and this is just one more in a series of steps.

What I do know at this time is that they want to see more material, so more material they shall get.