Fifteen years ago George Carlin did a comedy special for HBO What am I doing in New Jersey? I had no idea that someday the same question would be staring me in the face. New Jersey has a bad reputation in the press as this tough talking, backstabbing, mother-raping kinda state. And that’s the treatment you get from your family. People who you don’t know? Fuggeaboutit.

Does NJ deserve such a black sheep reputation? I’ve had about eleven years off and on to ponder this sensitive matter. What follows in scenario to illustrate the difference between NJ and Kansas, another state I used to live in.

The scenario is a lone man walking to the convenience store along a busy road. A car full of lost tourists pull alongside the lone man.

In Kansas
Tourist: Hi, we’re lost. How can we find our way back to the I-435?
lone man: Hi! Isn’t this great weather we’re having? I-435 ? No problem all you have to turn right at Metlars lane, go about 1.8 miles and then bear right. You can’t miss it.
Tourist: Oh thanks so much. You have a nice day now.
lone man: Golly gee, you too! Enjoy your vacation. Drive careful for the little ones.

Now the same scene in NJ
Tourist: How do we get to the Turnpike?
The lone man continues walking.
Tourist: Excuse me, where’s the Turnpike?
Slowly the lone man turns his head, still avoiding eye contact. He does not stop, instead forcing the car to continue forward at 3 mph.
lone man: What do I look like a welcome committee?
Tourist: Sorry to trouble you officer.
lone man: So don’t.