This morning more of that cursed white stuff blankets what should be my green lawn, soiling my mood like a coffee stain on my favorite white shirt. The flowers were set to bloom until this evil came to town delaying what should be spring. Now the bushes that the landlord planted last year during the heat wave in August that died and the he replanted in October when the weather cooled off sag from the weight of the snow.

Who’s in charge here and why weren’t they fired? Who ordered a snow storm right at the cusp of spring when the nights should smell like the sweet scent of fresh flowers? I do say a pox on your sir or madam! I demand a recount for you obviously stole the election. Let me see those pregnant chads, those “subjective interpretation” ballots. Take this white stuff away immediately or I will lead the charge for your impeachment! Yes! That’s it! Fix it now or my movement shall parade you down Main Street like a Scooby Doo pinata on the Fourth of July. You better run home to mama now! And take this white, slippery and cold plague of locusts with you.

I gotta move to Key West, Florida. I just gotta.