Remember that guy in school who insisted he had a girlfriend from Canada that he met at summer camp last year? None of his friends had ever seen her, but he had a picture, although not of both of them together, that he used as a prop to brag to everyone in the locker room. Let’s call that guy Jamie. The Canadian girlfriend was Kandi (not her real name). Jamie was the same kid who claimed he was late for soccer practice because his entire street blew up, except for his house. Also his dad, who was really a secret agent, could take corners in the family station wagon on two wheels.

Anyway, while the rest of us dreamed of getting the nerve to ask a girl out, Jamie had been there and done that. Many times he claimed, and he even had a picture of Kandi to prove it. Well we’re older now, most of the crew are married, but last night someone alerted me to a curious offering on eBay. If you search for a phrase like “pretend girlfriend” it returns auctions of girls who, for a fee, will provide a picture of herself, some letters and a phone call.

Imagine how much more effective Jamie’s tale of love and woe with Kandi could have been with the help of eBay? Besides the picture, he could have arranged a time for all of us to be around when Kandi called and broke up with him. Long distance relationships claim many a young loves. We’d have believed he was a player. Maybe the rumors might’ve led to a real girlfriend.